queen

Mother's Day Ecard with text: I think you are a way better mother than Queen Elizabeth II, who promised her son would be king and then hung around living for a million years instead. Because you didn't promise me anything. — **about this card:**
*queen* | People often say to me: "Who are you?! And how did you get in here?" And I say: "Sorry, wrong house!" and apologize for eating their yogurt. People also say to me, "you're a good son, your Mother must be proud!" and then I have to explain that I was raised by my grandmother who fed me lizards. And people wonder why I like the taste of yogurt so much.

latest 5 newsletters

In which I accidentally create a religion.

I've been revisiting some of my older cards. Some of them are inexplicable.

Some games of cricket can last for weeks. In fact, I think that's one of the reasons I moved to America.

I slightly injured myself. Then, whilst forced to do nothing at all, I began to wonder about my own mental well-being.

And then I was locked up in a holding cell, wondering what to do next.