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what could go wrong

December 22, 2015 · Kris St.Gabriel
Christmas Ecard with text: In the United States, twelve million adults believe the world is secretly controlled by lizard people. But go ahead, teach impressionable children that Sant Claus is real. What could possibly go wrong? (Picture of a lizard man in a Santa Hat.)
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about this card:
what could go wrong | Christmas is nigh. Little orphans are peddling old shoes. Mums are smoking broken pencils and Dads are drinking turpentine and waving tire irons at invisible winged-snakes again. I know, I know - even I get maudlin and sentimental around this time of year. To be honest, I don't really understand today's card. But then, I don't really understand most of the things I say...

santa knew too much

December 15, 2015 · Kris St.Gabriel
Christmas Ecard with text: santa knew who was naughty and nice. he knew too much. he had to die. sorry.
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about this card:
santa knew too much | Santa. He 'knows when you've been bad or good'. That's quite an accomplishment, Santa, thanks very much. Good to know someone is keeping a watchful eye on me. But then again maybe, if you pay too much attention to what a man is doing in his private life, you might get a bit distracted and accidentally tumble down a flight of stairs. , , I'm only looking out for you, Santa.

merry hanukkah

December 7, 2015 · Kris St.Gabriel
Hanukkah Ecard with text: merry hanukkah. may the Jewish santa bring you lots of amazing stuff! woot!
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about this card:
merry hanukkah | People. I'm back. Rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated - by others, and also by me - for tax purposes, but let's not get into that now. The important thing is that I'm back, which means it's time we kicked off this holiday season properly. I'd like to start off Christmas with a Hanukkah card. I know, right?! Look at us all - knowing what Hanukkah is and being all cosmopolitan...

bearded man

December 12, 2013 · Kris St.Gabriel
Christmas Ecard with text: Christmas. That time of year when we let an old, bearded man into our homes and stockings.
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about this card:
bearded man | Just because you don't understand what's going on doesn't mean you're confused. Look at me - I own a greeting card company (for admittedly 'troubled people') and I've never purchased or sent a greeting card in my life. Look at Christmas. Makes no sense to me but people invite me to their houses to give me pudding. I don't say anything about Christmas, of course. I just focus on the pudding.

the santa claus myth

December 10, 2008 · Kris St.Gabriel
Christmas Ecard with text: Santa makes all us comfortable with being lied to by authority figures. He teaches us that gullibility is more likely to be rewarded than skepticism.
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about this card:
the santa claus myth | Long-standing argument with my 6-year-old; she thinks Santa is real and I disagree. She thinks I'm needlessly skeptical. Interestingly, at this point I haven't bought a single Christmas present this year. I mean, there's still time for me to win this argument.