free ecards that are
wrong for every occasion

presenteeism

January 16, 2013 · Kris St.Gabriel
Workplace Ecard with text: Thank you for coming into work sick and giving us all Avian/Swine Flu while bravely showing us all what a trooper you are.
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about this card:
presenteeism | Planet Earth has been a blast lately. On the positive side, everybody has jumped on the 'Socially Isolating Yourself' bandwagon; guys, I've actually been doing that my entire life! I even built an entire website to help people become more socially isolated. You can just share cards like this with people and you're done. You don't even need to pretend to sell Essential Oils any more.

this never happened

November 28, 2012 · Kris St.Gabriel
Get Well Ecard with text: I've decided I like you again and you should be feeling better in a day or two.
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about this card:
this never happened | Whenever a friend comes down with a sore throat or a cold I like to sit at their bedside and offer repeated assurances that it's WAY too early to suspect that this might be the illness that takes their life. And that it's completely absurd to start suspecting Foul Play, while I walk around tapping on the walls as if searching for a hollow sound. I guess I want everybody's life to be an adventure.

very giving

July 9, 2012 · Kris St.Gabriel
Get Well Ecard with text: I am sorry to hear you are feeling unwell. Maybe you would feel better if you provided me with an orgasm.
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about this card:
very giving | The thing about sick people is they give off fumes which are made up of tiny animals. You can't see them with the naked eye but, if inhaled, they get inside your blood and try to kill you. Also - people with optimistic attitudes have better defenses. That's why you have to cheer up sick people - it makes them less toxic. I've always been good at science.

mustering

May 24, 2012 · Kris St.Gabriel
Excuses Ecard with text: I'm not going in to work today because I'm either temporarily unable to muster the strength to pretend that anything I do has any significance. Or because I have a bit of a nasty cough.
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about this card:
mustering | Some days it's not all that apparent to me why I'm not on a beach somewhere. People should be handing me beverages and offers to relax me in fresh, imaginative ways. Some days I wonder if I took a wrong turn when I decided to base my career on the principle of being honest.