christmas spider

Christmas Ecard with text: I may or may not have gotten you a Christmas spider. The joy lies in the discovery. — **about this card:**
*christmas spider* | People say they want a Christmas surprise, but here's the thing: DO THEY? DO THEY REALLY? I'm not angry but what is the point of you saying, 'I want it to be a surprise' if you're going to run around shrieking for an hour and then go stay at your Mother's until Thursday? And no it's not because I don't understand Christmas, I have an entire WEBSITE about it so technically I'm an expert so there.

my premonition

Birthday Ecard with text: happy birthday and may my premonition that you will be devoured by a giant flesh eating spider not come true this year

genetically speaking

Baby Shower Thank You Cards Ecard with text: genetically speaking, i think youre taking hell of a risk having children.

the reminder

Anniversaries Ecard with text: Our anniversary always reminds me just how lucky you are. ...Woah! It's a spider! Kill it! Kill it!

latest newsletters

I've been revisiting some of my older cards. Some of them are inexplicable.

Some games of cricket can last for weeks. In fact, I think that's one of the reasons I moved to America.

I slightly injured myself. Then, whilst forced to do nothing at all, I began to wonder about my own mental well-being.

And then I was locked up in a holding cell, wondering what to do next.

I tell you, it really makes a man think.