free ecards that are
wrong for every occasion

thanksgiving turkey

November 26, 2014 · Kris St.Gabriel
Thanksgiving Ecard with text: I'm bringing a friend to Thanksgiving. But you don't have to worry, it won't get awkward. Murry is a cannibal. (picture of a turkey at the table, getting ready to eat a cooked turkey.)
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about this card:
thanksgiving turkey | "Thanksgiving started when a bunch of Americans fed some half-starved illegal immigrants. The illegals, a bunch of religious extremists who liked to wear amusing hats, got drunk and kept calling the Americans 'Indians' for a joke. The Americans were cool about it though and, to commemorate that fact, the descendants of those illegal immigrants dine once a year with a bunch of people they don't like." (This is why people don't invite me to Thanksgiving anymore).

catholic vegetarian

March 5, 2013 · Kris St.Gabriel
Topical Ecard with text: Maybe Jesus wouldn't have avoided us so much in the last 2000 years if we hadn't kept ritualistically eating his corpse.
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about this card:
catholic vegetarian | My Grandmother taught me everything there is to know about world religions, ie. lizards from space have infiltrated all world governments, we're part of the resistance, and all other religious beliefs are crazy. She taught me to be tolerant, and believe in all religions, except when they contradict the stuff about lizards because that's just CIA disinformation to test our faith. Hi Nanna!

sacrifice

November 20, 2012 · Kris St.Gabriel
Thanksgiving Ecard with text: This Thanksgiving I am thankful that our civilization has moved beyond the ritual sacrifice of animals.
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about this card:
sacrifice | I'm not American but I live in Boston and have learned some of your customs. I know that Thanksgiving is about men sitting about watching sport all day while women cook for them. I have to admit this barbaric cultural practice does offend my modern sensibilities but I guess it's just a tradition that predates our contemporary awareness that men are better cooks than women.

transubstantiation

September 16, 2011 · Kris St.Gabriel
Topical Ecard with text: Jesus. Meat Industry Lobbyist.
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about this card:
transubstantiation | I've never known much about religion. I guess I'm agnostic because I don't want to wind up having to look surprised. Sadly, having a foot in both camps just means everyone feels obligated to preach at you. Today's card is about the Eating of the Eucharist. It's my way of coping with being recently told that it's not a biscuit.