free ecards that are
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life can be so sad

May 15, 2013 · Kris St.Gabriel
CheerUp Ecard with text: You think you have problems. My Sims are trapped inside a burning house and someone has bricked up the doors. Life can be so sad.
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about this card:
life can be so sad | Sometimes I play this videogame called The Sims and the little people keep having emotional breakdowns and wind up defecating in their neighbor's kitchens at 3am, or entering other Sim's bedrooms to watch them make-out while they daydream about nachos. God is playing 7 billion games of The Sims. Man, that sure is a lot of thoughts about nachos.

thanksgiving excuse

November 21, 2012 · Kris St.Gabriel
Thanksgiving Ecard with text: I am sorry I cannot attend Thanksgiving with your family but I would rather kill Nazis on a Playstation than sit with them at a dinner table.
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about this card:
thanksgiving excuse | It's ALMOST AMERICAN THANKSGIVING. And this card? I created it in 2012 - SEVEN YEARS AGO! It wasn't supposed to be all that relevant. I mean this is Wrongcards not TOTALLY-PRESCIENT-CARDS. Also in 2012, I predicted that the Mayans were wrong and the world wouldn't end around Christmas. I did not, however, predict the rise of gumboots as a fashion accessory. But only because I'm sane.

prisoner

July 13, 2012 · Kris St.Gabriel
Excuses Ecard with text: Cannot hang out. Am a prisoner of my mind and it needs me to kill dragons.
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about this card:
prisoner | I'm still in Granada, and just tried to order room service. I'm in a bit of a difficult mood so I tried to order swan. Black swan. They told me they didn't have black swan on the menu so I said I'd settle for an ordinary swan that had been dyed black. Even when I'm difficult I'm highly reasonable. But I'm not going to lie; this has nothing to do with today's card.

diablo

May 18, 2012 · Kris St.Gabriel
Excuses Ecard with text: I cannot come to work today due to an unfortunate flare-up of inner demons.
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about this card:
diablo | When they call my number at the Pearly Gates I expect my entry to be a shoe-in. This is not because I have led a conspicuously virtuous life but because of the disconcertingly high body count I have racked up killing demons in video-games. Also nazis, while I'm thinking about it. I've probably murdered half a bazillion symbolic demons and nazis - how is that not better than prayer?

chores vs video games

February 21, 2012 · Kris St.Gabriel
Excuses Ecard with text: The only thing that has prevented me from doing the chores you asked me to do is my discovery that video games are just more enjoyable.
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about this card:
chores vs video games | As an emotionally intelligent individual I’m aware that everybody makes mistakes. And I should know - I made a mistake once, a sad story that involves me sharing an ice cream that resulted in me having to eat less than half. Fortunately my fallibility makes me good at making excuses...

valentines day with you

February 8, 2012 · Kris St.Gabriel
Valentines Ecard with text: I want to spend every moment of Valentines Day alone with you, showing you just how truly amazing and awesome I am at video games.
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about this card:
valentines day with you | Greetings from London! On Wednesdays I like to post an older card and then spend the day working as a cryptozoologist. I spent the day lurking in the shadows of Paddington Station, hoping to spot an upright walking bear believed to be from Darkest Peru. I'm not very good at cryptozoology.