free ecards that are
wrong for every occasion

santa knew too much

December 15, 2015 · Kris St.Gabriel
Christmas Ecard with text: santa knew who was naughty and nice. he knew too much. he had to die. sorry.
view send

about this card:
santa knew too much | Santa. He 'knows when you've been bad or good'. That's quite an accomplishment, Santa, thanks very much. Good to know someone is keeping a watchful eye on me. But then again maybe, if you pay too much attention to what a man is doing in his private life, you might get a bit distracted and accidentally tumble down a flight of stairs. , , I'm only looking out for you, Santa.

hatchets

December 9, 2014 · Kris St.Gabriel
WTF Ecard with text: Never annoy a dozen 4-year-olds who are armed with hatchets. Because they could probably take you down.
view send

about this card:
hatchets | I know that Christmas has traditionally been about department stores making money but I've always hoped it might one day become a holiday for children. For some reason people assume I'm cynical but I've always liked children: they're funny, and they remind me of how each of us used to be - truthful, spontaneous, amoral and interesting. No child has ever once bored me with talk of mortgages or promotions. So our first Christmas wrongcard is for the children.

molotov cocktails

January 22, 2014 · Kris St.Gabriel
WTF Ecard with text: FYI - I have stopped carrying molotov cocktails around with me.I just dont trust myself with them anymore.
view send

about this card:
molotov cocktails | Never play with fire, they say, but that's no way to win at monopoly. I've started three fires during games of monopoly and went on to win each game. I think of fire as the God of Winning.

old peoples home

January 22, 2013 · Kris St.Gabriel
Family Ecard with text: Dont worry. Whatever happens I'm never gonna put you in an old peoples home.
view send

about this card:
old peoples home | I'm going to go ahead and admit that there aren't many Family Wrongcards yet. Ever since my own family died in an unsuspicious fire that happened while I was on the other side of town making a speech in front of several eyewitnesses, I don't like to think about family. Still, you have to admit it's an institution. And it's incredibly beautiful, the way it dances. Sometimes I think fire is a god.

santa is real

December 12, 2012 · Kris St.Gabriel
Christmas Ecard with text: santa is real. and im going to prove it.
view send

about this card:
santa is real | On Wednesdays in December I like to post an older card, then I meditate backwards through time and space. Once I traveled back to '02 and had coffee with myself. I tried to convince me that gum boots would be fashionable in 10 years but I didn't believe me. Actually, I haven't believed anything my Future Self has said for about a decade now.

clowns and logic

December 12, 2012 · Kris St.Gabriel
Reminder Ecard with text: You cannot kill a clown with logic. But you can kill it with a hammer.
view send

about this card:
clowns and logic | What is Christmas about, anyway? For me it's about inspiring others to be better. As an inspirational figure I want to remind you all that there are people in the world who, for reasons of ethnicity, don't celebrate Christmas. You should reach out to them and make them feel bad about that, so maybe next year they WILL celebrate Christmas, and maybe buy us both presents. Man that'd be cool.

i would chop off an arm

March 21, 2012 · Kris St.Gabriel
Flirting Ecard with text: i would chop off an arm for you. maybe not my arm, but someone's...
view send

about this card:
i would chop off an arm | On re-hash Wednesday we nostalgically re-visit a card from days of yore. This was published on April 13, 2008, back when Wrongcards was a weekend project that I ran to stress-test the patience of Harvard's Department of Human Resources. BTW I told them that, there being only 20 million Australians, I was therefore a minority. 'You can't fire minorities', I said. Logic is my superpower.

anger management

March 7, 2012 · Kris St.Gabriel
Inspirational Ecard with text: i have found that VIOLENCE Is a highly effective technique for anger management
view send

about this card:
anger management | On Wednesdays I like to post an older card and then spend the rest of the day listening to Rush Limbaugh. Not really. No I don't do that. It's not often that Wrongcards goes too far and posts something that tasteless on the internet but it happened right there a second ago and I'm sorry. It's a good thing Mother doesn't know about Wrongcards.

sibling rivalry

March 5, 2012 · Kris St.Gabriel
Family Ecard with text: The most effective way to deal with any manifestation of sibling rivalry among small children is to issue them with light sabers.
view send

about this card:
sibling rivalry | Like most people I had parents. They ran a complex experiment on me called 'raising a child without reading a book or consulting anybody who has done it before'. But they must have done something right because God says he prefers me to just about everybody else in the world. In fact I could become a prophet but I suffer from a phobia of beards. Today's card is about families.

illegal

February 2, 2012 · Kris St.Gabriel
WTF Ecard with text: tragically, this shot would be illegal in most parts of the world. Lobby governments to overturn laws that protect clowns.
view send

about this card:
illegal | On Wednesdays I like to post an older card and then spend the rest of the day serving my community. Now, you can't really save the world on your own, but what you CAN do is pick one issue or cause and focus on that. Me? I work to raise awareness of clowns. I'm just trying to make a difference.

agitated

June 7, 2011 · Kris St.Gabriel
Workplace Ecard with text: 'Remember: do not bite a colleague or co-worker, no matter how agitated you are feeling, because they will get really disappointed in you.'
view send

about this card:
agitated | After I realized that I had mastered Workplace Behavior, Norms and Etiquette, I realized it would be selfish of me not to share my knowledge with others. So I started to encode subtle Workplace Survival Tips into certain cards - today's card, for example. There's no need to thank me ... I do it for the glory.

genghis khans brother

November 24, 2010 · Kris St.Gabriel
Family Ecard with text: Genghis Khan killed his own brother when he was thirteen.  And he went on to greatness.  This is not a threat, just an observation based on a factual instance from history.
view send

about this card:
genghis khans brother | You all know me as a staunch defender of family values. Although Genghis Khan is not closely connected with Thanksgiving he DID father thousands of children and set them up with a dynastic empire. You don't get more family-oriented than that. Did your parents do as much for you? Doubt it. Ask them why not this holiday season.