free ecards that are
wrong for every occasion

inflatable pony

January 21, 2014 · Kris St.Gabriel
Romance Ecard with text: Ironically, Justin the Inflatable Pony doesn't give me a hard time about MY relationship with YOU...
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about this card:
inflatable pony | Romance is dead, they said - but I found out where they buried it. Now it's safely hidden under my bed. Don't worry, it only smells when I get it damp.

still want you

October 2, 2013 · Kris St.Gabriel
Romance Ecard with text: I want you to know that I would still want to be with you even if I COULD lick my own genitals.
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about this card:
still want you | Romance today is all about half-measures. It's gotten so bad that boys don't even steal flowers from graves any more, they just buy 'em in a shop. That's like saying 'I'll do anything to win and retain your affections provided it's convenient and lawful'. Once, lovers red-lined their emotions well into the realm of corpse desecration. But its ok, Romance can be saved; Wrongcards is taking it back!

upside of missing you

September 4, 2013 · Kris St.Gabriel
Missing You Ecard with text: I miss you but on the upside I at least have a lot more time to get in touch with my OWN body.
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about this card:
upside of missing you | I'm not ashamed to admit it: I'm a man and sometimes I have emotions. When Bunheads got canceled I went into a bit of a dark place. I dragged most of my furniture into the backyard and burned it all in a cold rage, and grew a beard for a while. Downton Abbey reruns made me feel whole again. You know what? I'm dedicating today's card to you. And to Bunheads.

practically

April 24, 2013 · Kris St.Gabriel
Flirting Ecard with text: We should get together and have sex sometime. Im getting to be quite good at it, by practicing on things etc.
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about this card:
practically | Today's card is a rehash Wednesday flirting card which means it's probably Not Safe For Work (whatever that means) though it CAN be useful if you'd like to flirt with someone today. It will also make you more popular - every time I send it to a woman she writes back and tells me how much she just wants to be my friend, which obviously is very sweet and quite complimentary.

celery

October 4, 2012 · Kris St.Gabriel
Anniversary Ecard with text: Let's celebrate our anniversary by thinking of each other when we're fapping.
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about this card:
celery | Anniversaries, right? People have them. Not me, so much, 'cause I believe that honesty is important in relationships. Wait, is that another thing Oprah was wrong about? Jesus Oprah! Anyway. It's beside the point. This card is pretty much NSFW. But I think most wrongcards are pretty much NSFW because, unlike most, I believe in good taste, decency and mental cleanliness. Happy Thursday...

society was not ready

August 17, 2011 · Kris St.Gabriel
WTF Ecard with text: 'Society was not yet ready for what Mister Bunny and I shared together that hot complicated summer in the long grass behind my Aunt's old farm house. But looking back through the window of memory I simply recall him as he no doubt was: a sensitive yet utterly spoiled stuffed toy with an irrepressible curiosity about his body and, to my delight, my own.'
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about this card:
society was not ready | On Wednesdays I like to post an older card for the sake of nostalgia and spend the rest of the day warning people about minotaurs stealing our jobs. I'll keep doing that until Fox News finally runs a panel discussion on the subject. Then I'll just retire in sick horror.

new birthday tradition

June 9, 2011 · Kris St.Gabriel
Birthday Ecard with text: Happy Birthday. I give you permission to touch yourself while thinking about me. Paying me a modest sum for the privilege is optional but is considered traditional.
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about this card:
new birthday tradition | Birthday Card: This card is an attempt to inspire a new, less selfish, Birthday tradition. It is, however, a slightly NSFW sentiment.

experimenting

April 11, 2011 · Kris St.Gabriel
Apology Ecard with text: I'm sorry I wrecked your electric toothbrush but I was overtaken by a moment of curiosity.
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about this card:
experimenting | Sometimes I look upon the sprawling glory that is Wrongcards and see that it is good. And other times - today, for instance - I'm fairly sure that I'm going to hell.

i don't judge you

October 19, 2010 · Kris St.Gabriel
Romance Ecard with text: Look, I don't judge you about YOUR taste in sex toys.
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about this card:
i don't judge you | I suspect that today's wrongcard may be a little Not Safe For Work though I'm not sure or good at judging that sort of thing. It's a WTF card, though, which means it is probably more impractical than usual. It's a pity that 'cards that are wrong for every occasion' is such an impractical idea. Next time I start a company I'll do a business plan.

turkey fondling

November 16, 2008 · Kris St.Gabriel
Thanksgiving Ecard with text: please do not touch the thanksgiving turkey inappropriately this year
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about this card:
turkey fondling | Yes I know it makes your parents uncomfortable but you said no more politics and besides, isn't it time we as a society had a conversation about turkey fondlers? Look, I know you say it's not a good time but you always say that and - Thanksgiving? I mean the topic just suggests itself! If your extended family is too immature to discuss turkey fondling, then fine but I don't know why I try so hard.