Tagged as #weird.


sneaky snowmen

People often say I'm too serious, but I have so many responsibilities! I run one of the most influential and socially responsible websites on Earth! It's Christmas and I should burning tires in my living room and making up a batch of Nanna's lizard soup but here I am drawing pictures of snowmen for all you reckless people who think snowmen are safe to be around. Look at me, Nanna, saving the world again...
Ecard text: Merry Christmas. Remember, Snowmen are secretly sentient, and can oftentimes behave very weirdly. You dismiss my warnings at your own peril.

extrapolation

You all know that I hate to boast but the fact is that I'm really good at logic. The only thing that stops me from writing a book called 'How To Defeat Everybody With Logic' is the worrying fact that I still occasionally see zebras following me around that nobody else can see. And Katie Couric would ask me about it during the interview and I'd have no response. Plus I'm also in love with Katie Couric.
Ecard text: I'm not saying that you eat spiders. I'm saying that we don't see spiders when you're around and that you rarely seem to be hungry, and it that it might be possible to exrapolate from this.

winged babies

I'm the sort of responsible guy you could take back to your parent's trailer without police needing to get involved but that's only cause my Nanna raised me proper. I remember us sharing a tin of cat food one night and her telling me how 'chicks dig a romantic'. So fellers - take note.
Ecard text: Happy Valentines Day. Because there is nothing weird about winged, naked babies holding weapons.

vacation

In the US everyone seems to go on vacation in August - my inbox is full of out-of-office emails. If they're not doing anything, I'm not either: and did I mention today is re-hash Wednesday? Screw work, I'm off to steal office supplies. And maybe I'll redirect all print queues to the Vatican. The day is pregnant with possibilities...
Ecard text: I am on vacation, so I'll see you weirdos later.

whatever works

Ecard text: I would like to try some weird stuff but I dont want you to worry. Or even feel obliged to be conscious. Whatever works for you is fine.

pretty weird

Ecard text: 'I am sorry about your sudden and tragic loss. And can I spare you what was, for me, a painful lesson and suggest you do not idly bring up the topic of cannibalism? Take it from me:  people can get pretty weird at you about it.'

you make me feel awesome

Ecard text: I think its because you tend to suffer weird, debilitating paroxysms of guilt, doubt & anxiety. You make me feel so damned well-adjusted and secure! WOOT!

weird thoughts

Ecard text: I'm thinking about you on your birthday. but admittedly, i'm also thinking indescribably weird thoughts about geese.

less weird

Ecard text: Life has been much less weird without you here