My recent diagnosis (turns out I have a mind virus) was a bit of a surprise. I'd just been saying something like, 'wouldn't it be nice if everybody felt equal', and wham! Apparently mind viruses are everwhere now. Good news is Elon is working on a brain implant, so I'm not too worried.
Life's been boring lately apart from a global pandemic, murder hornets, millions saying the virus is a hoax, plus riots, nitwits who think masks don't need to cover their noses, people posting on social media about Bill Gates using 5G for mind-control, and billionaires using social media for, um, actual mind-control, plus Nazis and possibly another plague but everything's fine I guess how are you.
I want to go to India one day; I love the food and the people seem really nice, despite Hollywood making them out to be violent, tomahawk-wielding lunatics who'll attack anyone in a cowboy hat. But then, I'm a worldly, cosmopolitan sort of guy. And one time I ate Chinese food. Cooked by a retired warlord called General Tso. My life is amazing!