Ecards that are wrong for every occasion.

The cards are free to send. Unfortunately, they are unhelpful at best.

Sympathy Cards Ecard with text: Funeral homes don't want you to know about the extremely inexpensive hyenas at the zoo option.

The newsletter is a slice of fried gold.

I would rather stand in the rain than listen to somebody talking about raising the rent on their tenants. These people make me wonder if it’s all that difficult to build a guillotine in one’s backyard.
— Greetings Fellow Adults

Henceforth zombie movies will have to change. No more scenes in which everybody runs away from the zombies. We now know that at least 30 percent of people are going to run straight at the zombies, laughing about how zombies are fake news.
— Oh For The Fear of a Bear!

As I sit here reflecting, it strikes me as both relevant and noteworthy that a few years ago, my brother-in-law was bitten by a zebra.
— I'm a Yule Enthusiast

Two years ago, he briefly died whilst feeding his hens; his pacemaker revived him, and he woke up surrounded by chickens. Understandably, they were giving him some fairly peculiar looks.
— Saying Goodbye To My Father

Henceforth zombie movies will have to change. No more scenes in which everybody runs away from the zombies. We now know that at least 30 percent of people are going to run straight at the zombies, laughing about how zombies are fake news.
— Oh For The Fear of a Bear!

I never argue with people unless I think they're wrong about something. But I generally feel that any action which may result in having to dig six-foot holes in the backyard at 2am isn't ultimately worth it. Anyway, I made you all this apology card. This is the part where you feel grateful. Oh stop it, it's nothing.

Category: Apology

Apology Ecard with text: I am sorry we had a difference of opinion based upon my views being well-researched and nuanced.

You know what bugs me? Being told I have pathological problems with authority. I just don't see it, man. And besides, why I should be subjected to psycho-babble just because I rightly understand that if I don't terrorize a middle-manager every day the entire world will fall into a thousand years of darkness, with pestilence and giant clowns? I'm a bit disappointed in psychiatry, too, obviously.

Category: Workplace

Workplace Ecard with text: I have no particular opinion about the overall worth of middle-management. And a picture of a hanging man in silhouette.

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