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Ecards that are wrong for every occasion.

This week's featured category is: Valntines Day - Friday, February 14 .

This Week's Featured Card

chinese new years

Late again with the New Year's Celebrations, China?" has really annoyed some people in the past. One time, I responded to a complaint about it with the observation that they shouldn't feel so insecure, "especially considering how China had given the world so much, like sushi, origami and ninjas." If I haven't mentioned it lately, I really like my job.

Oh, and let's not forget this

fewer spiders

I take New Year's Resolutions seriously; after all, how else am I supposed to improve myself? I know you probably think I don't need improvement, but I suffer from a mild sort of social anxiety. It only happens when I stand around naked in train stations, but which among us is perfect? So my New Years Resolution is about becoming more awesome. And this is how I do it. #newyear

Or actually this

silent killer

Remember a few years back when everyone thought the world would end because some Mayans had predicted it, even though the Mayans didn't predict the conquistadors? Well, I knew that was going to happen. I prophesied it. The only thing stopping me from closing down Wrongcards and becoming a professional prophet is the obligation to grow facial hair. I'm afraid of mustaches.

Latest Card

hearts interchangeable

People often say to me, 'Kris, you're too romantic'. Not in real life, of course, but inside my mind. I'm pleased to say that much of what is said inside my mind is complimentary. I do feel some antipathy towards geese, however, but otherwise I feel I am on good-terms with the world; I both like and understand the world. But I will never understand why you people keep celebrating Valentines Day.

Also Recent

penguin with ice cream

Ever since 2003 ice cream has been a sad topic for me. You see, that year a girl asked to share my ice cream and unwittingly, I consented. I lost 46% of my bowl of ice cream that day. Tragedy - always lurking in the wings...

Latest Stories by Kris

How I Cheer Myself Up During the Holidays

I like living here in Cambridge, Massachusetts, for at least six months out of every year. Then it gets cold and dark and dismal, and you have to be very deliberate about cheering yourself up. Here's an example of how I do that.

Everything Is Not Awesome

You know what The Script is - it's the ritual with which we signal to one another that we're not alarmingly unusual.

More Cards
Ecard text: If you think about it, there's nothing sexier than an octopus.

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Ecard text: If you think about it, there's nothing sexier than an octopus.

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Ecard text: My theory of how the presents get under the Christmas tree

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Ecard text: My theory of how the presents get under the Christmas tree

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Ecard text: One of the most offensive and morally objectionable things about Christmas is the obligation to buy gifts for your in-laws.

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Ecard text: One of the most offensive and morally objectionable things about Christmas is the obligation to buy gifts for your in-laws.

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Ecard text: Companies are always looking for someone who can think outside the box. They like to hire them, and force them to not think outside the box.

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Ecard text: Companies are always looking for someone who can think outside the box. They like to hire them, and force them to not think outside the box.

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