Ecards that are wrong for every occasion.

The cards are free to send. Unfortunately, they are unhelpful at best.

CheerUp Ecard with text: Your friendship is valuable to me. And that is why I'll need try to steal your kidneys.

The newsletter is a slice of fried gold.

There I was, desperately trying to defuse the situation, and using my meager high school German to assure everybody present that I do not actually wear women’s panties.
— Strange Passage, Part One

All I could see through the window was the terracotta pot. Mocking me. Apparently, after helping me into the house, my wife went back outside and moved the pot herself. This is why I think women don't understand feelings.
— The Infernal Terracotta Pot

The kitchen had a dystopian feel. The bathroom had pink tiles. The basement wall was leaning at about 80 degrees. Down in the basement, one of the rats was teaching the others ninjitsu.
— The Story So Far, Part I

I occasionally think about studying marine biology. I think I’d enjoy it on some level, though I doubt I'd ever be good at it. I’d probably achieve nothing as a marine biologist, other than thoroughly alienating a bunch of dolphins, I suppose.
— Misbehaving At Parties

They’re experts, you see, and they can prove it by speaking in a litany of cliches, and you’re supposed to listen and marvel in awed silence. Sometimes, when people talk about coffee, you can almost hear the agitated hooting of primates squabbling in a tree.
— Coffee and Whiskey, Please

This is the first Wrongcard I created, back in March 2008. I think some part of me was hoping it would annoy both staunch capitalists AND devout communists. But sadly, most of the complaints I receive concern the Easter card collection. Which goes to show how people who enjoy being offended by things can be a little unpredictable.

Category: Birthday

Birthday Ecard with text: comrade lenin wishes you happy birthday

I think I made this card for the Covid outbreak, as a way of encouraging people to use hand sanitizer. Yes, technically I first published this card in May, 2010, but I've always been ahead of the curve.

Category: Workplace

Workplace Ecard with text: I am not admitting anything here - I am simply saying that you should probably use hand sanitizer after using the photocopier.

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