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Fourth of July
Fourth of July. To celebrate and commemorate Will Smith saving our planet from an alien invasion.
What’s your favorite thing about the Fourth of July? Mine is when Will Smith punches that alien squarely in the chops and says: ‘Welcome to Earth!’ Without that single act of heroism, I’m not sure the Fourth of July holiday would even exist.
Now, I don’t know a lot about American history, but it’s obvious that Americans take these regularly-timed alien invasions very seriously. When President Bill Pullman makes that stirring speech about how important it is to defend his country from aliens, it made me wish I was an American too. First I was a little offended; then I realized that the only country that takes the threat of invasion by aliens seriously is the United States. And frankly, I’ve been a fan of the country ever since. Happy Independence Day, everyone.