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The best free ecards website in the world.

Regretably, none of our cards are appropriate to send to anyone.*

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* Well, at least they're free!

New Year's Ecard with text: Happy New Year. Have fun out there but remember: spider monkeys. They're a silent killer.
New Year's Ecard with text: My New Years Resolution is to put fewer spiders in your breakfast cereal when you're not looking.

Wait, ecards that are wrong for every occasion?

I'm actually not good at business ideas.

Fortunately, my newsletter is a slice of fried gold.

I regret it did not occur to me sooner that we could have tattooed onto my father’s body the following words, 'I buried the gold bars at the following map coordinates ...'

— Saying Goodbye To My Father

Henceforth zombie movies will have to change. No more scenes in which everybody runs away from the zombies. We now know that at least 30 percent of people are going to run straight at the zombies, laughing about how zombies are fake news.

— Oh For The Fear of a Bear!

All I could see through the window was the terracotta pot. Mocking me. Apparently, after helping me into the house, my wife went back outside and moved the pot herself. This is why I think women don't understand feelings.

— The Infernal Terracotta Pot

I will not school my daughters on the finer points of dark chicanery. If they wish to win arguments, outwit foes, vex opponents, or hoodwink adversaries, they're going to have to figure it all out on their own. Because I've seen the Star Wars movies. I know what happens to the Sith when they take on apprentices.

— Me Vs Me

What sort of nonsense is this?

Well, here's two random cards I made. Yes. I know.

Weddings Ecard with text: 43% of marriages end in divorce. The rest end in death. But good luck with this project.

forty three percent

...

Weddings

Excuses Ecard with text: I cannot hang out with you due to having accidentally uttered a string of random consonants that sounded too much like a particularly unwholesome ancient epithet that has inadvertently displeased Ereshkigal, the Sumerian Goddess of the Underworld.

ereshkigal

If you're an introvert you know what a pest invitations can be. You're not shy, you just don't want to be there... alone, in a crowd, feeling your authenticity being eroded by the battery-acid of inauthentic social expectation. Where was I going with this - that's right: excuses. Forget plausible excuses, they can be rebutted. No, a sophisticated introvert knows to employ the implausible...

Excuses

These great people bought me coffee

"I love the offbeat humour - just the thing for the silly season! Read your books a couple of weeks ago too. Laughed out loud - can't wait for more."

Sarah

buymeacoffee.com/stgabriel

"I hear echoes of Monty Python and Mel Brooks (on a good day). Thank you, we need humor at this time. ...Insert political diatribe here..."

Rory G.

buymeacoffee.com/stgabriel

"Really enjoyed the cards !"

Steve M.

buymeacoffee.com/stgabriel

"Are you certain we're not related? You seem to share my exact same sentiments about our worldly circumstances!"

Oztru

buymeacoffee.com/stgabriel

"Great cards, funny writing, and many thanks to you!"

Bill E.

buymeacoffee.com/stgabriel

"I love your attitude!"

Linda B.

buymeacoffee.com/stgabriel

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