The best free ecards website in the world.

Regretably, none of our cards are appropriate to send to anyone.*

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* Well, at least they're free!

Baby Ecard with text: Am relieved to hear you are pregnant and not merely eating too much cake.

Apology Ecard with text: I am deeply and sincerely sorry you thought this was going to be a deep and sincere apology.

Wait, ecards that are wrong for every occasion?

I'm actually not good at business ideas.

Fortunately, my newsletter is a slice of fried gold.

Henceforth zombie movies will have to change. No more scenes in which everybody runs away from the zombies. We now know that at least 30 percent of people are going to run straight at the zombies, laughing about how zombies are fake news.

— Oh For The Fear of a Bear!

I will not school my daughters on the finer points of dark chicanery. If they wish to win arguments, outwit foes, vex opponents, or hoodwink adversaries, they're going to have to figure it all out on their own. Because I've seen the Star Wars movies. I know what happens to the Sith when they take on apprentices.

— Me Vs Me

I’m not happy, obviously. There’s a fairly antagonized spider loose in the bathroom. He’s missing four legs and there’s nothing that can be done for him. Super-glue will not remedy the situation.

— The Invisible Spider Trick

I don’t think a monotheistic god turning out to be a giant spider is the worst thing that could happen. There are far more awful possibilities.

— The Invisible Spider Trick

What sort of nonsense is this?

Well, here's two random cards I made. Yes. I know.

Birthday Ecard with text: Be careful when you are cutting your birthday cake in case in contains a nest of spiders. Lunging at spiders with a knife might make them misinterpret the situation.

spiders are sensitive

It's someone's birthday today, maybe not yours or mine but it's someone's; it's commonsense. I know lots about people and most of what I know about people I learned from spiders. Though wasps, when you think about it, are a kind of winged spider. Spiders don't hum like wasps, they just whistle. Nobody really knows why.

Birthday