Ecard text: I'm sorry I forgot to pretend I was listening to your nonsense.
about this card
Sometimes, when I am enjoying the richness that is my inner-life, I notice that peoples mouths are moving. If I then observe their eyes are looking in my direction, I try to remember to nod musingly, once or twice, as if in profound agreement. Today's card? That's for when I forget.
ABOUT THIS CARD
Sometimes, when I am enjoying the richness that is my inner-life, I notice that peoples mouths are moving. If I then observe their eyes are looking in my direction, I try to remember to nod musingly, once or twice, as if in profound agreement. Today's card? That's for when I forget.

subscribe to my newsletter

Sign up here to get the latest updates and
receive one of my novels for free.

Random Cards
Ecard text: I'm not saying that you eat spiders. I'm saying that we don't see spiders when you're around and that you rarely seem to be hungry, and it that it might be possible to exrapolate from this.
Ecard text: i wouldn't have eaten your goldfish if i'd known you would get all boring and serious about it. But you should leave more food around the house.
Ecard text: how much alcohol would I be required to buy you so I might clumsily paw at your body without you objecting much?
Ecard text: Placenta should never go to waste.
BOOKS BY ME

"The plan was simple — steal the world's most famous skull, and tell no more than 37 close personal friends and co-workers."

— The Harvard Skull Fiasco

Subscribe, and receive for free!

"One of the funniest books that I've read."
—Joe Z.

"A fun, zany book full of quirky characters, witty banter, and clever plot twists."
— E. C. Rider.

Read for free on Kindle Unlimited

"I enjoyed this the second entry in the "Blue Bandicoot" series even more than the first; in particular the second half here is fantastic."
—James M.

"Wickedly funny."
— R. Massey

Read for free on Kindle Unlimited

The omnibus edition contains The Harvard Skull Fiasco and Rise of the Blue Bandicoot. The third book will be added for free in late 2020.