Queen | Mother's Day Ecard | WRONGCARDS

Mother's Day Ecard with text: I think you are a way better mother than Queen Elizabeth II, who promised her son would be king and then hung around living for a million years instead. Because you didn't promise me anything. — about this card: queen | People often say to me: “Who are you?! And how did you get in here?” And I say: “Sorry, wrong house!” and apologize for eating their yogurt. People also say to me, “you’re a good son, your Mother must be proud!” and then I have to explain that I was raised by my grandmother who fed me lizards. And people wonder why I like the taste of yogurt so much.

somewhat related wrongcards

Mother's Day Ecard with text: Happy Mothers Day. And just think about how much better our relationship would be if you had just bought me a pony like I asked? I guess you'll have to be content with a crap ecard.

Mother's Day Ecard with text: Happy Mothers Day Few Mothers have done more for their progeny than you. Excepting those who died in childbirth of course. I mean, we have to give credit where credit is due. Those Mothers make your maternal sacrifices seem trivial.

Mother's Day Ecard with text: these pretty flowers had their stalks snapped just as they budded so people could feel good about themselves. It seems pretty morbid and deranged to me, but old women like this stuff so here you are, Happy Mothers Day Blah Blah.

Mother's Day Ecard with text: i'm too old to be breast-fed, ma!

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I've been revisiting some of my older cards. Some of them are inexplicable.

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The Infernal Terracotta Pot

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I tell you, it really makes a man think.

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books by me

The Harvard Skull Fiasco Book Cover

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Rise of the Blue Bandicoot Book Cover

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The Blue Bandicoot Saga Book Cover

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The Harvard Skull Fiasco Book Cover

Shea suffers from pathological problems with authority. When he's not fixing computers in the library at Harvard Medical School, he's tormenting middle managers and feuding with his boss. But where in the Harvard employee manual does it say you have to behave perfectly at all times?