I think you are a way better mother than Queen Elizabeth II, who promised her son would be king and then hung around living for a million years instead. Because you didn't promise me anything.
People often say to me: "Who are you?! And how did you get in here?" And I say: "Sorry, wrong house!" and apologize for eating their yogurt. People also say to me, "you're a good son, your Mother must be proud!" and then I have to explain that I was raised by my grandmother who fed me lizards. And people wonder why I like the taste of yogurt so much.