Ecard text: There is no point in watching Olympic-level shot put events because nothing interesting ever happens.
about this card
I used to be quite the athlete back in high school though I had a far less restrained conception of 'competitive' than other students. I probably would have gone pro if the lawyers hadn't shown up talking legalese and waving restraining orders around. Forced into retirement early I guess. Doctors said that sport wasn't for me. Minor ankle injury and a penchant for lighting fires. Whatever.
ABOUT THIS CARD
I used to be quite the athlete back in high school though I had a far less restrained conception of 'competitive' than other students. I probably would have gone pro if the lawyers hadn't shown up talking legalese and waving restraining orders around. Forced into retirement early I guess. Doctors said that sport wasn't for me. Minor ankle injury and a penchant for lighting fires. Whatever.

subscribe to my newsletter

Sign up here to get the latest updates and
receive one of my novels for free.

Related Cards
Ecard text: Synchronized Swimmers never drown during Olympic Events. And this means that God cannot possibly exist.
Ecard text: Never forget the real unsung heroes of the Olympic Games ... the scientists working tirelessly behind the scenes to create completely undetectable steroids.
Ecard text: Finally, people who can only lift heavy objects get to have their day.
Ecard text: The sport we know as Greco-Roman Wrestling actually originated in certain notorious men's restrooms where one party simply wanted to use the bathroom.
BOOKS BY ME

"The plan was simple — steal the world's most famous skull, and tell no more than 37 close personal friends and co-workers."

— The Harvard Skull Fiasco

Subscribe, and receive for free!

"One of the funniest books that I've read."
—Joe Z.

"A fun, zany book full of quirky characters, witty banter, and clever plot twists."
— E. C. Rider.

Read for free on Kindle Unlimited

"I enjoyed this the second entry in the "Blue Bandicoot" series even more than the first; in particular the second half here is fantastic."
—James M.

"Wickedly funny."
— R. Massey

Read for free on Kindle Unlimited

The omnibus edition contains The Harvard Skull Fiasco and Rise of the Blue Bandicoot. The third book will be added for free in late 2020.