Ecards for Engagements, Weddings, Marriages and Other Mistakes

People get so optimistic and what comes of it? They get engaged and then comes the awful necessity of attending their weddings. Here’s the point: you can send them wedding cards to celebrate their engagement. And often, if you send the right wrong card, you can get out of the whole obligation of having to be there. Of course if things pan out between the lucky couple then in about a year you’ll wind up needing to send one of these baby cards to them as well.

Optimists, I say.

Ecard text: Congratulations on your upcoming marriage, I can't wait to see which one of you wins.
Ecard text: I am unable to attend your wedding party in case it  looks too suspicious to the US Government from overhead.
Ecard text: I hope you dont want a traditional wedding because I cant afford to donate any oxen or goats.
Ecard text: 43% of marriages end in divorce. The rest end in death. But good luck with this project.