People are always talking about their right to own a gun; they never talk about MY right to own a gun. If I owned a gun I’d be shooting it all the time. Double-parked cars. The occasional jet ski. This bus driver who closed the door as I was about to get on, who I chased for two miles on foot. The real reason I shouldn’t have a gun is how much I want one. And also how much I want a bazooka.