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Ecards in the Event of Zombies

Useful in the (perhaps inevitable) Event of Zombies, these cards could save your life. The proviso is simple: the outbreak won’t originate in some lab accident. Only impressionable kids and dotards believe that. No, zombies will be first appear after a bioweapon attack. It’s aim? Simply to cull the global population in a neo-Darwinian survival horror game of the fittest. The organization behind the coming zombie wars will be monitoring our communication channels … but they won’t be monitoring ecards, will they? Amateurs, dude. In the meantime, these cards can tutor you on the finer points of surviving through hordes of undead. Remember, the paranoid always have the last laugh. But in our case we’ll be laughing down the barrels of a blood-soaked shotgun. Let’s All Be Prepared!

Ecard text: A realist's plan for dealing with a zombie outbreak. step 1) run away screaming with hands over head in sheer panic and terror.

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Ecard text: A realist's plan for dealing with a zombie outbreak. step 1) run away screaming with hands over head in sheer panic and terror.

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Ecard text: A zombie apocalypse can get pretty lonely. But no matter how alone, how bored, how curious, don't even think about it.

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Ecard text: A zombie apocalypse can get pretty lonely. But no matter how alone, how bored, how curious, don't even think about it.

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Ecard text: 'In the event of zombies, remember: sanity first. Try to take some time out of every day to enjoy yourself. (Picture of bloodstained bobcat forklift thing chasing zombie).'

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Ecard text: 'In the event of zombies, remember: sanity first. Try to take some time out of every day to enjoy yourself. (Picture of bloodstained bobcat forklift thing chasing zombie).'

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Ecard text: Remember, never mistake a horde or shoppers with a sudden outbreak of zombies. the authorities will not understand.

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Ecard text: Remember, never mistake a horde or shoppers with a sudden outbreak of zombies. the authorities will not understand.

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Ecard text: If you should ever be bitten by a zombie ... look don't worry about it. I'll sort it out.

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Ecard text: If you should ever be bitten by a zombie ... look don't worry about it. I'll sort it out.

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Ecard text: A zombie apocalypse is not the best time to stop by your ex's place. Trust me, things just aren't going to pan out between you two.

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Ecard text: A zombie apocalypse is not the best time to stop by your ex's place. Trust me, things just aren't going to pan out between you two.

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