Ecards in the Event of Zombies - Page 1 of 3

Useful in the (perhaps inevitable) Event of Zombies, these cards could save your life. The proviso is simple: the outbreak won’t originate in some lab accident. Only impressionable kids and dotards believe that. No, zombies will be first appear after a bioweapon attack. It’s aim? Simply to cull the global population in a neo-Darwinian survival horror game of the fittest. The organization behind the coming zombie wars will be monitoring our communication channels … but they won’t be monitoring ecards, will they? Amateurs, dude. In the meantime, these cards can tutor you on the finer points of surviving through hordes of undead. Remember, the paranoid always have the last laugh. But in our case we’ll be laughing down the barrels of a blood-soaked shotgun. Let’s All Be Prepared!

Ecard text: A realist's plan for dealing with a zombie outbreak. step 1) run away screaming with hands over head in sheer panic and terror.
Ecard text: A zombie apocalypse can get pretty lonely. But no matter how alone, how bored, how curious, don't even think about it.
Ecard text: 'In the event of zombies, remember: sanity first. Try to take some time out of every day to enjoy yourself. (Picture of bloodstained bobcat forklift thing chasing zombie).'
Ecard text: Remember, never mistake a horde or shoppers with a sudden outbreak of zombies. the authorities will not understand.
Ecard text: If you should ever be bitten by a zombie ... look don't worry about it. I'll sort it out.
Ecard text: A zombie apocalypse is not the best time to stop by your ex's place. Trust me, things just aren't going to pan out between you two.
Ecard text: Fact: my conviction that the world will one day be overrun by mindless zombies is neither implausible nor absurd as the fact that Kim Kardashian has a television show.
Ecard text: This man didn't shoot the zombie until he saw the whites of it's eyes. Don't make this mistake! Remember: when they are up close, zombies are bitey.
Ecard text: Real men will hunt down zombies while armed only with a falcon.
Ecard text: When the zombies attack, many of your closest friends and relatives are going to die in a ferocious storm of mindless violence and blood.