Ecard text: I am sorry for your tragic loss. But on the bright side you now have a really authentic Halloween decoration.
about this card
I dislike funerals 'cause afterwards you have to go and mill about at someone's house and there is always potato salad covered in plastic wrap. And I really hate potato salad. But my job requires that I write Sympathy Cards, so I have to brush all the nausea under a metaphorical rug and be professional about death. Today's card? Consummate professionalism about death right there.
ABOUT THIS CARD
I dislike funerals 'cause afterwards you have to go and mill about at someone's house and there is always potato salad covered in plastic wrap. And I really hate potato salad. But my job requires that I write Sympathy Cards, so I have to brush all the nausea under a metaphorical rug and be professional about death. Today's card? Consummate professionalism about death right there.

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Random Cards
Ecard text: Look, I don't judge you about YOUR taste in sex toys.
Ecard text: The fact that you even want me to do chores around the house reveals a chilling lack of empathy.
Ecard text: I'm not going to get angry today provided nobody provokes me by breathing too loudly.
Ecard text: I hope a kind of pretentious hand-drawn card will excuse me from feigning an enthusiasm I do not feel. Its not personal, its just not my birthday and it sucks.
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