wrongcards

Halloween Ecards. Why Do These Need To Exist?

Every Halloween a bunch of creepy stuff happens. Plastic skeletons appear on porches. People burn pumpkins. Children go around in disguise extorting confectionery. And people send wrong Halloween Cards to their otherwise blameless friends. Say Happy Halloween with a Wrongcard and only mildly annoy them. As far as gifts go.. well, they’re free and slightly less tacky than a plastic jack-o-lantern.

Trick'o'treating teaches children how to run extortion rackets for candy. You might as well just TELL them to grow up and become bankers.

apprentice

The best way to terrify children on Halloween is to take them along on your morning commute and explain to them that theis will be part of their daily routine for about forty years.

commute

The most successful 'trick or treat' in history was carried out by some merry pranksters in the Wall Street investment banking community, and it led to the passing of the Emergency Economic Stabilization Act of 2008.

wall street

Every year my stupid voodoo-obsessed cat starts prophesying your death. Next time I'm getting one that's a nihilist.

nihilist cat

Let's get dressed up as suburban parents, knock on doors and ask if the candy is gluten-free.

suburban halloween

If you dont decorate the front of your house with morbid, grisly plastic ornaments that were manufactured in China, then people think you're some kind of weirdo.

plastic morbidity

Decorating a front lawn with the rotting fruits of a late-night grave robbery is a felony. But sometimes, an authentic Halloween requires that we go that extra mile.

halloween decorations

May ten thousand nightmarish, pumpkin-headed creatures armed with Kalashnikovs and rocket-propelled grenades stage a violent and bloody military coup this Halloween.

ten thousand creatures

Halloween not creepy enough? how about now with this picture of tom cruise talking about scientology?

creepy enough

There is more to halloween than looking at goth chicks on myspace. get out there and scare a child.

more to halloween