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Sympathy Cards

Free Sympathy Cards. For when writing a sympathy card yourself is too irksome.

The cards are terrifically useful provided they are not sent as sympathy cards. And I say so with deepest sympathy. They offer little in the way of actual condolence and they’re terribly sympathetic, but they might help you rejoice in life. Brief and uncertain though it may be.

If you need to send a condolence to a coworker, or write a sympathy card and money is a bit tight

Sympathy Cards Ecard with text: I am sorry for your tragic loss. But on the bright side you now have a really authentic Halloween decoration.
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about this card: bright side | I dislike funerals 'cause afterwards you have to go and mill about at someone's house and there is always potato salad covered in plastic wrap. And I really hate potato salad. But my job requires that I write Sympathy Cards, so I have to brush all the nausea under a metaphorical rug and be professional about death. Today's card? Consummate professionalism about death right there.
Sympathy Cards Ecard with text: Funeral homes don't want you to know about the extremely inexpensive hyenas at the zoo option.
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about this card: extremely inexpensive | Most of my friends are not going to live through the impending Mayan Doomsday because they simply refuse to take my 'stop, drop and roll' drills seriously. So I'm accepting their impending deaths stoically in advance. I'm not that sad actually, possibly because I've been making sympathy cards to send to myself. Emotional intelligence makes life easier.
Sympathy Cards Ecard with text: I am sorry for your tragic loss and doubt you would contrive this just to avoid having sex with me.
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about this card: sincerest trust | Today's card is a sympathy card which means you can send it to people who say they know someone who has recently died. Sometimes I suspect people make up stories like that for attention or to evade responsibilities. If you harbor doubts about someone, send along today's card and study them carefully to see if they look guilty.
Sympathy Cards Ecard with text: I was sorry to hear about your loss and hope that there is no possible way that you can be mistakenly implicated.
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Sympathy Cards Ecard with text: 'I am sorry about your sudden and tragic loss. And can I spare you what was, for me, a painful lesson and suggest you do not idly bring up the topic of cannibalism? Take it from me: people can get pretty weird at you about it.'
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Sympathy Cards Ecard with text: i am sorry you are bereaved but at least you have been rewarded with a small trophy
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Sympathy Cards Ecard with text: Sorry to hear about your tragic loss but just remember that life goes on. (For some of us.)
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Sympathy Cards Ecard with text: Im sorry that death is such a buzz kill and that Ive been thinking more about breasts than your tragic loss. I just find them very life-affirming. See? Life-affirming.
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Sympathy Cards Ecard with text: i think my sympathy for you entitles us to consume a LOT of icecream. after all - what is the point of sympathy if there is no icecream?
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Sympathy Cards Ecard with text: id hate for you to interpret my as a lack of sympathy or something. cause then i'd have to get all depressed and down-on-myself, like you are right now, which would totally suck for me. Oh God now you've got me all depressed and
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