Most of my friends are not going to live through the impending Mayan Doomsday because they simply refuse to take my 'stop, drop and roll' drills seriously. So I'm accepting their impending deaths stoically in advance. I'm not that sad actually, possibly because I've been making sympathy cards to send to myself. Emotional intelligence makes life easier.
Thanksgiving
cards
I'm not American but I live in Boston and have learned some of your customs. I know that Thanksgiving is about men sitting about watching sport all day while women cook for them. I have to admit this barbaric cultural practice does offend my modern sensibilities but I guess it's just a tradition that predates our contemporary awareness that men are better cooks than women.
WTF
cards
I’m a man who believes in the incredible power of the apology, especially when it comes to getting out of scrapes and evading repercussions. A bunch of people will see today’s card and think it somehow doesn’t apply to their lives. This is a rash and foolish notion and I predict that a good forty-four percent of you will send this card someday. And you know I'm right when I use statistics.
Mothers Day
cards
I had a pretty normal childhood even though I was raised by my Nanna after my parents were kidnapped by lizard people. Nanna was in the underground before our side surrendered, and she had to live in 'psychic hiding' (constant inebriation) to avoid detection by mind scanners. So coming up with Mothers Day cards is, of course, a bit tricky. But what I like about this card is that it is reassuring.
Reminder
cards
I believe that anyone can be rich, whether you're a teacher or a nurse, provided you work very, very hard in your job and your family got a head start in railways, oil fields or early 20th Century luxury hotels. But every rule should be issued with a disclaimer so here is mine. BTW - in case nobody has said it to you yet: Happy Tuesday!
