Ecard text: I am sorry, disappointed and perplexed that you did not find The Secret Life of Snails to be intensely erotic.
About This Card

This one time someone told me I was a bit weird and I told them they were a bit normal and then they looked at me as if I'd behaved like a dog on a croquet lawn. What's a man to do when nobody wants to be weird and nobody wants to be normal? My guess is that there's a fine line in there between and this card rests right there...

How I Cheer Myself Up During the Holidays

I like living here in Cambridge, Massachusetts, for at least six months out of every year. Then it gets cold and dark and dismal, and you have to be very deliberate about cheering yourself up. Here's an example of how I do that. read more

Shea is beginning to think that stealing the world's most famous skull wasn't the best way to launch his career in cat burglary...

Read for free on Kindle Unlimited

"One of the funniest books that I've read."
—Joe Z.

"A fun, zany book full of quirky characters, witty banter, and clever plot twists."
— E. C. Rider.

"Wickedly funny." — R. Massey

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