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Hey now! This card is featured in our box of postcards: Box #1: the 'I'm No Longer Angry at Mother ' Edition.

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Ecard text: Now that we have done everything else, the next thing I would like for us to try is foreplay.
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Let's say you're romantically involved with a balloon animal. Society doesn't understand - it never does - and you have to sneak out to this one Italian restaurant where the staff aren't all that judgmental. Now one night, over a candlelit dinner, she wafts across the table and touches the candle flame. Pop! She's dead! Do you tip the waiter for one meal or two?



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Ecard text: I am sorry, disappointed and perplexed that you did not find The Secret Life of Snails to be intensely erotic.
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Ecard text: I'm not half as sexually adventurous as Mr Sock.
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Ecard text: We should get together and have sex sometime. Im getting to be quite good at it, by practicing on things etc.
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