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Ecard text: If God didnt want me to practice on you he would have given me a sheep farm.
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I know many of you hope one day to find a special someone with an excellent credit history and maybe go in on a thirty-year fixed-rate mortgage together. I too am a romantic. But romance isn't just about money - there's a biological aspect to it too. If you don't send today's card to a potential co-mortgage signatory then you'll never have any offspring to fight about in court. I'm here to help.



The Harvard Skull Fiasco is Now Available

There's a new book out in the world, and I wrote it.

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Ecard text: I'm not half as sexually adventurous as Mr Sock.
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Ecard text: I want to make sweet love to you like an anteater.
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Ecard text: A zombie apocalypse can get pretty lonely. But no matter how alone, how bored, how curious, don't even think about it.
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