Free Valentines Ecard: 'Subliminal' | Wrongcards

Valentines Ecard with text: Here is your Valentines Day card. NOW can you make me a sandwich? — about this card: subliminal | ‘Gentlemen, bad news: Valentines Day is gonna happen any second now. Ladies, yay, you’re about to receive a lot of Hallmark nonsense and a bunch of chocolate that you know in your heart is going to go straight to your hips. Puppies? For you, nothing changes, you’re still the best things on the planet and I wish there were more of you.’

Somewhat Related Wrongcards

Valentines Ecard with text: 'Historians dont actually know who Saint Valentine was or how he became martyred. Geoffrey Chaucer and his mates in the 14th Century began to associate the day with romantic love about a thousand years after he died. And I'm not celebrating it because it's ridiculous'

Apology Ecard with text: I am sorry for what I did or did not do. Though in my defence this entire relationship was caused by your breasts. (Illustration of badger with the caption - A BADGER. Why does everything have to be relevent?)

Valentines Ecard with text: Happy valentines day. This is a picture of an earwig. I am the best.

Romance Ecard with text: Love is like a rhinoceros with a saddle in the sense that if a pithy ecard with an obscure simile is somehow applicable to your relationship then you should both sit down and, over a nice cup of tea, work out what it is you are both doing wrong.

Romance Ecard with text: I can tell that I love you by the way I like to make you feel guilty about bullshit.

latest newsletters

A Not So Cricketty Christmas

Some games of cricket can last for weeks. In fact, I think that's one of the reasons I moved to America.

A Not So Cricketty Christmas

Some games of cricket can last for weeks. In fact, I think that's one of the reasons I moved to America.

The Infernal Terracotta Pot

I slightly injured myself. Then, whilst forced to do nothing at all, I began to wonder about my own mental well-being.

The Infernal Terracotta Pot

I slightly injured myself. Then, whilst forced to do nothing at all, I began to wonder about my own mental well-being.

Strange Passage, Part Two

... and then I was locked up in a holding cell ...

Strange Passage, Part Two

... and then I was locked up in a holding cell ...

Strange Passage, Part One

I tell you, it really makes a man think.

Strange Passage, Part One

I tell you, it really makes a man think.

Don't Mention the War

I'll be very careful, don't worry.

Don't Mention the War

I'll be very careful, don't worry.

books by me

The Harvard Skull Fiasco Book Cover

Buy at Amazon

Rise of the Blue Bandicoot Book Cover

Buy at Amazon

The Blue Bandicoot Saga Book Cover

Buy at Amazon

The Harvard Skull Fiasco Book Cover

Shea suffers from pathological problems with authority. When he's not fixing computers in the library at Harvard Medical School, he's tormenting middle managers and feuding with his boss. But where in the Harvard employee manual does it say you have to behave perfectly at all times?