Ecard text: I'm sorry I dramatically misinterpreted your suggestion that we bury the hatchet.
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Wrongcards offers free, funny ecards that are wrong for every occasion. The site is 'not-for-profit' and contains no ads, other than some reminders that the site's founder writes funny books that you can find at Amazon.

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Random Cards
Ecard text: Let's celebrate our anniversary by thinking of each other when we're fapping.
Ecard text: oh jesus - you are so not frickin' prepared for this
Ecard text: I'm sorry I cannot babysit your child but I suffer from a debilitating phobia of orange-colored excrement.
Ecard text: 'So I poured bong water into your aquarium to see if fish can get high. Now, before you react, I want you to focus on the undeniable truth - that scientific inquiry has long confused lay society. However, to show you I am a good sport, I have decided to cook you dinner tonight. Just waiting for the fish to finish marinating.'
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"The plan was simple — steal the world's most famous skull, and tell no more than 37 close personal friends and co-workers."

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The omnibus edition contains The Harvard Skull Fiasco and Rise of the Blue Bandicoot. The third book will be added for free in late 2020.