Free ecards that are wrong for every occasion.
Christmas Ecard with text: I may or may not have gotten you a Christmas spider. The joy lies in the discovery.
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christmas spider

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about this card: christmas spider | People say they want a Christmas surprise, but here’s the thing: DO THEY? DO THEY REALLY? I’m not angry but what is the point of you saying, ‘I want it to be a surprise’ if you’re going to run around shrieking for an hour and then go stay at your Mother’s until Thursday? And no it’s not because I don’t understand Christmas, I have an entire WEBSITE about it so technically I’m an expert so there.
The Harvard Skull Fiasco

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Valentines Ecard with text: I don't understand the basic point of Valentines Day so let's instead admire this picture of a penguin holding an ice cream.
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Valentines Ecard with text: If you think about it, there's nothing sexier than an octopus.
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New Year's Ecard with text: Happy New Year. Have fun out there but remember: spider monkeys. They're a silent killer.
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New Year's Ecard with text: My New Years Resolution is to put fewer spiders in your breakfast cereal when you're not looking.
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Christmas Ecard with text: Merry Christmas. Good children receive gifts from Santa and bad children get eaten by the Christmas Leopard. Look - don't get angry at me, I don't make up the rules.
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