First of all, if I did spit in somebody’s ice cream - and I’m not saying I did - then maybe that person should have bought me an ice cream as well. If they’d just been a little less selfish then maybe we wouldn’t be here. Also, why do people always want to bring Human Resources into everything? Wouldn’t it have been simpler just to buy someone an ice cream? Nobody in Human Resources has ever bought me an ice cream either. What do those people even do, anyway?