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Ecard text: Let's celebrate St Patricks Day by dividing into two teams along arbitrary religious lines and then beating each other senseless.
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I'm not saying that St. Patricks Day is a conspiracy perpetrated by Irish brewing countries in league with a cartel of manufacturers of green food coloring. No wait a minute, that IS what I'm trying to say. Sorry, there's something about this holiday that gets me all muddled. It might possibly be the alcohol speaking. Look, I'm very good at research.



The Harvard Skull Fiasco is Now Available

There's a new book out in the world, and I wrote it.

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Jewish cards

Ecard text: I think Jesus will forgive you for being Jewish. Some of his best friends were Jewish.
We've been talking a lot about Christmas here lately but let's not forget that Jews also have a Christmas celebration (called Kawanza) that happens sometime between November and February I think. I read that jewish priests ordained it as a sin for Jews to exchange presents, but I'm sure no one will get in trouble if they just send Jewish wrongcards instead.
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Easter cards

Ecard text: ‘Eastre’ is the Old English spelling of the name of a Germanic pagan goddess. The Christians named their most important anniversary after her.In today’s marketing language this is called co-branding.
Today is Good Friday. That's a public holiday in a lot of the world but not in the U.S., because the earliest colonists here were protestants and they got to set all the rules. When we're kicking off space exploration don't let protestants onto the space ships or there'll be no weekends on Mars. Today's card makes commercial use of religious imagery. In other words: Happy Easter!
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Easter cards

Ecard text: At Easter it is considered traditional to receive spiritual guidance from celibate men in frocks who like to be lenient about men who sleep with children.
I hope it's not too soon to post this. I like Easter because it is all a relatively safe topic and I generally run much less risk of accidentally saying something controversial. Happy Thursday everyone!
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Workplace cards

Ecard text: I have been looking into it and apparently being evil pays pretty well and is probably more rewarding than what I'm doing now.
Do you ever find yourself blacking out and waking up hours later in a field several miles from your home holding a dead squirrel and having no memory of how you got there? Yeah, I don't either and I blame the people around me for expecting more of me than that. I did a card about Being Evil. I don't advise sending it to anyone.
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