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Ecard text: merry hanukkah. may the Jewish santa bring you lots of amazing stuff! woot!
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People. I'm back. Rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated - by others, and also by me - for tax purposes, but let's not get into that now. The important thing is that I'm back, which means it's time we kicked off this holiday season properly. I'd like to start off Christmas with a Hanukkah card. I know, right?! Look at us all - knowing what Hanukkah is and being all cosmopolitan...



The Harvard Skull Fiasco is Now Available

There's a new book out in the world, and I wrote it.

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Ecard text: Christmas. That time of year when we let an old, bearded man into our homes and stockings.
Just because you don't understand what's going on doesn't mean you're confused. Look at me - I own a greeting card company (for admittedly 'troubled people') and I've never purchased or sent a greeting card in my life. Look at Christmas. Makes no sense to me but people invite me to their houses to give me pudding. I don't say anything about Christmas, of course. I just focus on the pudding.
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Ecard text: I think Jesus will forgive you for being Jewish. Some of his best friends were Jewish.
We've been talking a lot about Christmas here lately but let's not forget that Jews also have a Christmas celebration (called Kawanza) that happens sometime between November and February I think. I read that jewish priests ordained it as a sin for Jews to exchange presents, but I'm sure no one will get in trouble if they just send Jewish wrongcards instead.
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Ecard text: I don't know what scares me more - International Terrorism, or that 46% of American voters believe the world was created in six days.
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