Paternity | Christmas Ecard | WRONGCARDS

Christmas Ecard with text: The best way to have a Merry Christmas is to not focus on the fact that paternity tests didn't exist 2000 years ago. (Picture of Joseph with a cloud over his head next to Mary holding a baby.) — about this card: paternity | Oh my god, the department stores have put up Christmas decorations already. Every year it’s earlier and earlier. Civilized people like you and me understand that Christmas shopping starts on Christmas Eve, and in a heightened state of panic mingled with resentment and lots of mental swearing. You know what’s ironic? I bet Jesus’ parents didn’t even celebrate Christmas.

somewhat related wrongcards

Christmas Ecard with text: One thing that really sucked about Jesus life was having to get his birthday presents AND Christmas presents on the same day each year.

St Patricks's Day Ecard with text: Let's celebrate St Patricks Day by dividing into two teams along arbitrary religious lines and then beating each other senseless.

Thinking of You Ecard with text: I am treating you with caution until I am certain that you are not going to turn into one of that Jackal-Headed gods of Ancient Egypt, because I'm sick of investing myself in people and winding up feeling foolish.

Easter Greetings Ecard with text: The wizard in the sky wants you to buy chocolate wrapped in aluminium in remembrance of a politically-motivated execution of a guy who just wanted everybody to get nice.

St Patricks's Day Ecard with text: I am only going to put on green socks and drink alcoholic beverages because it would make a dead religious fanatic from the 5th Century very happy.

latest newsletters

Call Me Nebuchadnezzar

In which I accidentally create a religion.

Call Me Nebuchadnezzar

In which I accidentally create a religion.

Wrongcards and the Mind Virus

I've been revisiting some of my older cards. Some of them are inexplicable.

Wrongcards and the Mind Virus

I've been revisiting some of my older cards. Some of them are inexplicable.

A Not So Cricketty Christmas

Some games of cricket can last for weeks. In fact, I think that's one of the reasons I moved to America.

A Not So Cricketty Christmas

Some games of cricket can last for weeks. In fact, I think that's one of the reasons I moved to America.

The Infernal Terracotta Pot

I slightly injured myself. Then, whilst forced to do nothing at all, I began to wonder about my own mental well-being.

The Infernal Terracotta Pot

I slightly injured myself. Then, whilst forced to do nothing at all, I began to wonder about my own mental well-being.

Strange Passage, Part Two

And then I was locked up in a holding cell, wondering what to do next.

Strange Passage, Part Two

And then I was locked up in a holding cell, wondering what to do next.

books by me

The Harvard Skull Fiasco Book Cover

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Rise of the Blue Bandicoot Book Cover

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The Blue Bandicoot Saga Book Cover

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The Harvard Skull Fiasco Book Cover

Shea suffers from pathological problems with authority. When he's not fixing computers in the library at Harvard Medical School, he's tormenting middle managers and feuding with his boss. But where in the Harvard employee manual does it say you have to behave perfectly at all times?