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Ecard text: I suspect you have caught the Swine Flu and it's your fault because I warned you to wear a condom and you didn't listen.
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Read my latest book

"Shea is beginning to think that stealing the world's most famous skull wasn't the best way to launch his career in cat burglary..."

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From My Newsletter, June 20, 2019

I also considered throwing a chair through a window, but I didn't because it was my chair, and also my window. One should be particular when it comes to picking out targets for petty acts of vandalism.

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Related Cards
Apology cards

Ecard text: im sorry i use the phrase knee deep in the blood of traitors and pigs a bit more often than would be considered socially acceptable
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Flirting cards

Ecard text: I would like to get up close and impersonal with you because people say you like it that way and I just want to make you happy.
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WTF cards

Ecard text: If I should ever wander off into the fog in my mind, lose my way and never return, I want you to have my cat. Provided I havent eaten it by then or something.
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Thinking Of You cards

Ecard text: I have my own religion and in that religion all pandas secretly hate you.
On Wednesdays I like to post a link to an older card and then spend the rest of my day campaigning for religious tolerance, particularly for all religions that correctly agree with my own views, unlike those other heretic religions that I hate and would burn to the ground if the law wasn't so restrictive.
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