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Whenever a friend comes down with a sore throat or a cold I like to sit at their bedside and offer repeated assurances that it's WAY too early to suspect that this might be the illness that takes their life. And that it's completely absurd to start suspecting Foul Play, while I walk around tapping on the walls as if searching for a hollow sound. I guess I want everybody's life to be an adventure.
The Story So Far, Part I
I just disappeared for four years. It's time to come out from the woodwork, but where do I start? How about I go back to the middle?
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Get Well
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The thing about sick people is they give off fumes which are made up of tiny animals. You can't see them with the naked eye but, if inhaled, they get inside your blood and try to kill you. Also - people with optimistic attitudes have better defenses. That's why you have to cheer up sick people - it makes them less toxic. I've always been good at science.
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Excuses
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Some days it's not all that apparent to me why I'm not on a beach somewhere. People should be handing me beverages and offers to relax me in fresh, imaginative ways. Some days I wonder if I took a wrong turn when I decided to base my career on the principle of being honest.
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