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Hey now! This card is featured in our box of postcards: Box #1: the 'I'm No Longer Angry at Mother ' Edition.

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Ecard text: I am sorry I have not been more supportive of you lately. I have just been very busy being interesting.
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You know when a villain ties a person to the railway tracks and sends a letter to the hero saying 'you better get down here or your friend is going to get run over ha ha etcetera?' I don't know if this has happened to me because I tend not to open correspondence. I just forget. Missing the requisite gene I suppose. Here's an ecard for people like me.



The Story So Far, Part I

I just disappeared for four years. It's time to come out from the woodwork, but where do I start? How about I go back to the middle?

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Ecard text: I'm sorry I sometimes monologue but it really only happens when I think you have nothing of interest to say.
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Ecard text: I am sorry I got tired and forgot to pretend you are not deeply wrong about so many things.
Sometimes we have to apologize. Sometimes, even when any impartial, highly-educated expert would firmly agree that you are right and the other person is sadly bereft of facts and utterly adrift in a sea of confusion, we have to apologize. This card is for those moments.
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Ecard text: There are many more interesting ways of getting attention besides pretending to be sick
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Ecard text: If you don't know why I'm apologizing, please disregard this ecard. It's nothing and you always forgive me eventually anyway so just think about something else. Go like this: LA La la la la LA.
I'm sure that none of you has ever needed to apologize to anyone for anything ... but if it ever becomes necessary to PRETEND to be sorry about something (because someone is being boring and serious about it) then this card will surely help.
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