About This Card

Sometimes I like to re-evaluate myself as an individual and, when I do, I like to give myself 10 out of 10 for self-critical-ness. I'm a simple guy who always tells the truth except if I don't feel like it or get carried away, which is pretty rare but it does happen when I'm at George Clooney's place. I'm not his coolest friend but he's like, 'Kris - you're in my top three'. So that's why I'm happy today.

From My Newsletter, October 30, 2019

Why must Halloween be so awkward? read more

Shea is beginning to think that stealing the world's most famous skull wasn't the best way to launch his career in cat burglary...

Read for free on Kindle Unlimited

"One of the funniest books that I've read."
—Joe Z.

"A fun, zany book full of quirky characters, witty banter, and clever plot twists."
— E. C. Rider.

"Wickedly funny." — R. Massey

Svg Vector Icons : http://www.onlinewebfonts.com/icon

Related Cards

Ecard text: Happy Mothers Day. There is no greater proof of my affection for you than the fact that I never set fire to a rival sibling, no matter how funny it would have been.

Share this Wrongcard?

Ecard text: Happy Mothers Day. There is no greater proof of my affection for you than the fact that I never set fire to a rival sibling, no matter how funny it would have been.

Sure — how do you want to share it?

facebook

twitter

tumblr

pinterest

email

Ecard text: Im always right but no one ever listens but i don't care and basically they should all burn.

Share this Wrongcard?

Ecard text: Im always right but no one ever listens but i don't care and basically they should all burn.

Sure — how do you want to share it?

facebook

twitter

tumblr

pinterest

email

Ecard text: When i need cheering up, i just try to imagine everything and everyone around me on fire. try it - you'll feel a whole lot better.

Share this Wrongcard?

Ecard text: When i need cheering up, i just try to imagine everything and everyone around me on fire. try it - you'll feel a whole lot better.

Sure — how do you want to share it?

facebook

twitter

tumblr

pinterest

email

Ecard text: this place is going to burn to the ground one night when i just happen to have an airtight alibi.

Share this Wrongcard?

Ecard text: this place is going to burn to the ground one night when i just happen to have an airtight alibi.

Sure — how do you want to share it?

facebook

twitter

tumblr

pinterest

email