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Ecard text: I like you more than I'd like two prostitutes of moderate quality.
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A lot of men find it difficult to express themselves emotionally, but that's only because a lot of men these days don't drink a lot of whiskey. Men, it's easy to speak your mind; all you have to do is make sure nobody is home, lock the doors and whisper. I can't believe we have a reputation for being unable to communicate.



The Story So Far, Part I

I just disappeared for four years. It's time to come out from the woodwork, but where do I start? How about I go back to the middle?

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Ecard text: yeah yeah yeah emotions and feelings and whatever blah blah blah but when do we get to the shagging?
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Ecard text: mayonnaise makes the night more memorable
Today is re-hash Wednesday; I post an older card and then ever so slightly exaggerate my plans for the rest of the afternoon. By the way, I hope today's card doesn't discourage anyone. Frankly, I hope it inspires a certain spirit of scientific inquiry.
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Ecard text: 'Society was not yet ready for what Mister Bunny and I shared together that hot complicated summer in the long grass behind my Aunt's old farm house. But looking back through the window of memory I simply recall him as he no doubt was: a sensitive yet utterly spoiled stuffed toy with an irrepressible curiosity about his body and, to my delight, my own.'
On Wednesdays I like to post an older card for the sake of nostalgia and spend the rest of the day warning people about minotaurs stealing our jobs. I'll keep doing that until Fox News finally runs a panel discussion on the subject. Then I'll just retire in sick horror.
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