Jesus was very adamant. All human relationships with the higher power must be negotiated by a priesthood of men in a palace, presided over by a man in a very pointy hat. It's a Bible thing.

These are exciting times for me. The current pope is resigning, for reasons that an internal Vatican inquiry has declared entirely unrelated to my letters, and so obviously I'm focused on my resume and cover letter right now. I'm emphasizing that I've watched every episode of The Borgias, and that hardly any Cardinals will be poisoned or blackmailed. I'm going to win this.