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Ecard text: I probably really like you quite a lot. Or not - it depends of course on how you feel about me, which is a matter I cannot seem to accurately determine, which is why this card offers only the vaguest approximation of sentiment. This is a picture of an eel
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The thing about eels is that they really are impossible to feel neutral about. You might think you like them a lot, say, when you're eating them in a Japanese restaurant. But face to face with them in an ocean, you will have one just thought: that thing is so ugly it is practically anathema.



The Story So Far, Part I

I just disappeared for four years. It's time to come out from the woodwork, but where do I start? How about I go back to the middle?

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Ecard text: Everybody knows that without me you probably would have been eaten by leopards by now.
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Ecard text: I don't know if I could make you squeal like a pig but I could definitely manage 'squawk like an amorous puffin that has just had a near-death experience and needs to be held. And you can count on it, baby.
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Ecard text: I dont blame you for anything, other than my inexplicable phobia of vampire geese.
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Ecard text: One easy way to 'blend in' is to never be overheard speculating about what the hell it is that the squirrels are secretly up to.
People, January 21 is National Squirrel Appreciation Day in North America. Squirrels are going about under-appreciated, and it's a crying shame. I was twenty-four when I saw my first squirrel and never since that day have I been completely oblivious to them. Let us join together in support, and paranoia, of squirrels.
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