New birthday tradition | Birthday Ecard | WRONGCARDS

Birthday Ecard with text: Happy Birthday. I give you permission to touch yourself while thinking about me. Paying me a modest sum for the privilege is optional but is considered traditional. — about this card: new birthday tradition | Birthday Card: This card is an attempt to inspire a new, less selfish, Birthday tradition. It is, however, a slightly NSFW sentiment.

somewhat related wrongcards

Love Ecard with text: Ironically, Justin the Inflatable Pony doesn't give me a hard time about MY relationship with YOU...

Love Ecard with text: I want you to know that I would still want to be with you even if I COULD lick my own genitals.

Missing You Cards Ecard with text: I miss you but on the upside I at least have a lot more time to get in touch with my OWN body.

Flirting and Pick Up Lines Ecard with text: We should get together and have sex sometime. Im getting to be quite good at it, by practicing on things etc.

Anniversaries Ecard with text: Let's celebrate our anniversary by thinking of each other when we're fapping.

latest newsletters

Wrongcards and the Mind Virus

I've been revisiting some of my older cards. Some of them are inexplicable.

Wrongcards and the Mind Virus

I've been revisiting some of my older cards. Some of them are inexplicable.

A Not So Cricketty Christmas

Some games of cricket can last for weeks. In fact, I think that's one of the reasons I moved to America.

A Not So Cricketty Christmas

Some games of cricket can last for weeks. In fact, I think that's one of the reasons I moved to America.

The Infernal Terracotta Pot

I slightly injured myself. Then, whilst forced to do nothing at all, I began to wonder about my own mental well-being.

The Infernal Terracotta Pot

I slightly injured myself. Then, whilst forced to do nothing at all, I began to wonder about my own mental well-being.

Strange Passage, Part Two

And then I was locked up in a holding cell, wondering what to do next.

Strange Passage, Part Two

And then I was locked up in a holding cell, wondering what to do next.

Strange Passage, Part One

I tell you, it really makes a man think.

Strange Passage, Part One

I tell you, it really makes a man think.

books by me

The Harvard Skull Fiasco Book Cover

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Rise of the Blue Bandicoot Book Cover

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The Blue Bandicoot Saga Book Cover

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The Harvard Skull Fiasco Book Cover

Shea suffers from pathological problems with authority. When he's not fixing computers in the library at Harvard Medical School, he's tormenting middle managers and feuding with his boss. But where in the Harvard employee manual does it say you have to behave perfectly at all times?