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Ecard text: 'Merry Christmas. Remember: it's probably not very sensitive to be leaving out cookies for a man who famously struggles with his weight.'
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| I watch Fox News so I know all about the plot against Christmas. That's right: conspirators are subverting people's belief in Santa. As a small business owner, and a believer in Santa Claus (I even saw him in a shopping mall once), I make this pledge: For every 1000 boxes of Wrongcards you buy I will send you a Fox News coffee mug (possibly chipped). Christmas saved, kids.



The Perfect Query Letter for Literary Agents

My quest to find a literary agent, its reasons, and some very excellent advice on how you too can query a literary agent.

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Ecard text: Some say that there is more to Thanksgiving than gluttony disguised as gratitude, or the massacre of 5.3 million turkeys. HA HA HA HA HA HAHA.
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Ecard text: Thank you for coming into work sick and giving us all Avian/Swine Flu while bravely showing us all what a trooper you are.
I went to work once this year and three days later I came down with the Boston Hipster Flu. I call it the Boston Hipster Flu because we knew all about it before you even heard of it. You know those people who turn up to work with the flu? We're not allowed to murder them, I checked. Today's re-hash Wednesday card is dedicated to the infected.
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Ecard text: Good news. My desire for you now eclipses my general fear of contracting a venereal disease from you.
As an enlightened sort of bloke I often feel a heavy weight of responsibility to help my fellow man understand that Romance topic that women like to yap about. Fellas, try to share half the pizza with her, alright? And remember, romance doesn't cost much when there are free wrongcards to send, or even just fresh flower bouquets laying about unattended near new graves. Here to help.
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