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Inspirational | PAGE 1

Inspirational Quotes and Messages. And some aren't even worrisome or antisocial.

A wise person once said to me, “Dude, don’t make a funny website filled with ecards nobody would send to anyone. It’s a dumb idea, you’re wasting your life and your potential.” And I was like, no way, man. I want to change the world. I want to give people short quotes, things to inspire and motivate them to do better in the world.

“But where is the sense in it?” he persisted.

“It’s about sending a positive message. My intrinic motivation is to make society better and – hey, did we finish the bottle already?”

Well, that was back in 2008. Today – you know where that guy is now? Buying his third yacht. But Wrongcards? It’s probably inspired dozens of people with its subtle motivational subtext. Dozens! And I feel good about that. Anyway, sorry I have to cut this short. Soup kitchen closes in half-an hour.

Inspirational Ecard with text: ALways be optimistic. But don't be as optimistic as a dog. A dog will eat its own vomit with the expectation that it will just work out better the second time around. You know what? Don't be optimistic. It doesn't work.
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about this card: optimism | Don't listen to what some people say, everyone is an optimist. Everyone is being completely optimistic - they might as well embrace the reality. Whenever I turn on the television I stare at it for eight minutes, turn it off and then have to go lie down because civilisation is clearly coming to a sticky end. But then I'm up 15 minutes later because Fox News must not win. See? Optimism. In other news, I should be a motivational speaker.
Inspirational Ecard with text: You would be much happier if you focused on more positive things. With a picture of a dead clown.
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about this card: positive things | I don't remember drawing a picture of a severed clown head on a spear. But I must have, because here it is. Published in 2013 as an inspirational card. And I have absolutely no recollection of doing it, either. Anyway, yet another reason I won't do therapy. Because I'd have to talk about this sort of thing.
Inspirational Ecard with text: You have no reason to be unhappy. Here are half a dozen better reasons to be unhappy.
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about this card: stegosaurus | 'Sometimes people say they are sad and they list off their reasons for being sad and I think to myself: these are good reasons to feel sad, but I have some better ones. I guess that if someone is feeling melancholy then, well, why should it be for amateurish reasons? It's called 'seizing the teachable moment'. And you guys? You don't pay me enough.'
Inspirational Ecard with text: Life is a Role Playing Game in which the Dungeon Master has decided not to explain the rules, so don't worry; it's completely appropriate to panic.
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about this card: role playing game | The thing about wasps is that you can chant at them and, if they like you, they'll form themselves into a calm sentient pillar in the shape of a person, like a golem, and do your bidding, and carry out certain tasks, like paying the pizza guy or seeing off unwanted visitors. I don't know how people can be sad in such a marvellous world.
Inspirational Ecard with text: I think it's cute the way some people believe they have planned for every eventuality.
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about this card: unexpected bears | It's been years since we published a reminder card, and that's only because we forgot - and there's no better reason for not doing something than that! The second best reason for not doing something is, of course, 'bears'. The sound you just heard in your head? That was just me dropping the mic and walking off-stage.
Inspirational Ecard with text: Everyone should have a dream. This is mine. With a picture of a hang gliding walrus.
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about this card: everyone should dream | On Wednesdays I always post an older card and then I spend the rest of the day giving up tea. I quaff my ninth and final cup at ten in the morning (the following three are for nostalgic purposes only). Around mid-afternoon I invariably down another final cup to fortify my resolve to quit. I'm only human; the last thing I want is for you to think I'm an addict when I'm merely an inspirational figure.
Inspirational Ecard with text: i have found that VIOLENCE Is a highly effective technique for anger management
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about this card: anger management | On Wednesdays I like to post an older card and then spend the rest of the day listening to Rush Limbaugh. Not really. No I don't do that. It's not often that Wrongcards goes too far and posts something that tasteless on the internet but it happened right there a second ago and I'm sorry. It's a good thing Mother doesn't know about Wrongcards.
Inspirational Ecard with text: This year you have not been mauled to death by pissed off Grizzly Bears. Clearly whatever you are doing to keep Grizzly Bears at Bay is working.
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about this card: mauled by grizzly bears | On Wednesdays I typically post an older card that you might not have seen, and then I spend the afternoon writing letters to the International Olympic Committee demanding they introduce Competitive Humming into the London Olympics. It won't work, but at least the person who opens their mail will have a really weird day.
Inspirational Ecard with text: The secret to having a successful career is to be in the right place at the right time with a camera.
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about this card: secret of success | We have an entire category of Inspirational Ecards, though it's a sadly neglected place lately because, well, if I was to write a self-help book it would probably be called "Everybody Should Work It Out For Themselves" and Chapter III would be titled "Choosing Randomly". BTW today's card is an inspirational ecard, so shush.
Inspirational Ecard with text: To be successful, one should always adopt the habits of highly successful people. And I don't think there is a single successful person alive who does chores.
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about this card: highly successful people | Let's start off the week with an inspirational card. Of course, one might disagree with this card but that would require a perverse and contrary psychology. The thought of people disagreeing with me always makes me feel wistful and sad. What a troubled world. Anyway, here is today's card to make it all better.
Inspirational Ecard with text: Many live their lives forgetting that each day is precious. This is why I'm doing society a favor when I make random bomb threats.
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Inspirational Ecard with text: People would not suffer from depression if they knew how to steal helicopters.
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about this card: stealing helicopters | On Wednesdays I like to post an older card and then spend the rest of the day working as a volunteer at a telemarketing company. I'm surreptitiously turning the place into a preemptive suicide hot-line. Everyone I call is pretty confused, of course, but I guess I just believe in changing institutions from within.