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page 9

Just Because Ecards

Inspirational TGIF Workplace WTF Zombie
Workplace Ecard with text: Its Friday, and this week I learned the Human Resources frowns upon self-abuse in the copier room. With each passing week my office kung fu grows more powerful!

HR frowns upon stuff

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Workplace

Workplace Ecard with text: If you were paying attention you would have realized by now that you were promised a pony, but you never received this pony, and that this constitutes a massive betrayal in your life. And the only way to diminish this dull yet irrevocable pain in your heart is to stab random friends and co-workers with pens. Stop by later, I have some pens I'm prepared to sell you.

irrevocable pain

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Workplace

Workplace Ecard with text: Another busy week spent undermining the strategic interests of the company via acts of corporate sabotage and subversion. Dude we totally deserve to get drunk.

sabotage is thirsty work

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Workplace

Inspirational Ecard with text: People would not suffer from depression if they knew how to steal helicopters.

stealing helicopters

On Wednesdays I like to post an older card and then spend the rest of the day working as a volunteer at a telemarketing company. I'm surreptitiously turning the place into a preemptive suicide hot-line. Everyone I call is pretty confused, of course, but I guess I just believe in changing institutions from within.

Inspirational

Inspirational Ecard with text: I believe strongly in the power of positive thinking as an effective strategy for societal change.I just think that arson also works and is both efficient and incontrovertible.

positive thinking

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Inspirational

Workplace Ecard with text: Stop wasting time on the internet.

stop

I like to spend my time volunteering with organizations that promote Suffrage for Goats. It might surprise people. Some think me too frivolous to be politically engaged. THEY KNOW NOTHING.

Workplace

WTF Ecard with text: when i was a kid, captain planet used to come over to my house and teach me about recycling ordinary house hold items that most people discard after just one use. captain planet usually spelt of whiskey.

recycling

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WTF

Workplace Ecard with text: I have found that a limitless source of job satisfaction can be reached through the systematic terrorization of middle-managers .

job satisfaction

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Workplace

Zombie Ecard with text: When the zombies attack, many of your closest friends and relatives are going to die in a ferocious storm of mindless violence and blood.

loot tobacconists first

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Zombie

WTF Ecard with text: Nietzsche was wrong: if you gaze long enough into the the abyss, Barney the Dinosaur gazes back into you, which is of course much, much worse.

gaze into the abyss

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WTF

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