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Inspirational Ecard with text: I believe strongly in the power of positive thinking as an effective strategy for societal change.I just think that arson also works and is both efficient and incontrovertible.
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20 Apr 2009

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TGIF Ecard with text: Thank God it's Friday and nobody's desk mysteriously caught fire.

god of fire

Sometimes I like to re-evaluate myself as an individual and, when I do, I like to give myself 10 out of 10 for self-critical-ness. I'm a simple guy who always tells the truth except if I don't feel like it or get carried away, which is pretty rare but it does happen when I'm at George Clooney's place. I'm not his coolest friend but he's like, 'Kris - you're in my top three'. So that's why I'm happy today.

TGIF

Mother's Day Ecard with text: Happy Mothers Day. There is no greater proof of my affection for you than the fact that I never set fire to a rival sibling, no matter how funny it would have been.

proof

I'm ignoring our re-hash Wednesday tradition and posting a new card today because, well, I have the power to do so and because I am the boss. Being a boss is like being a king except instead of bringing you courtesans they bring you tea. Today's card is about Mother's Day. I'm sorry I mentioned courtesans before. Sometimes I say things that are a little bit inappropriate. It's a bit of a secret.

Mother's Day

Baby Ecard with text: Let's get this out of the way now: I will not be interested in hearing about your child until it grows into something more interesting. Like an arsonist.

more interesting

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Baby

Workplace Ecard with text: Im always right but no one ever listens but i don't care and basically they should all burn.

nobody ever listens

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from the newsletter

The kitchen had a dystopian feel. The bathroom had pink tiles. The basement wall was leaning at about 80 degrees. Down in the basement, one of the rats was teaching the others ninjitsu.

— The Story So Far, Part I

my newsletter is called

My Blameless Life

read it here ➞

you might also like
TGIF Ecard with text: Thank God it's Friday and nobody's desk mysteriously caught fire.

god of fire

Sometimes I like to re-evaluate myself as an individual and, when I do, I like to give myself 10 out of 10 for self-critical-ness. I'm a simple guy who always tells the truth except if I don't feel like it or get carried away, which is pretty rare but it does happen when I'm at George Clooney's place. I'm not his coolest friend but he's like, 'Kris - you're in my top three'. So that's why I'm happy today.

TGIF

Mother's Day Ecard with text: Happy Mothers Day. There is no greater proof of my affection for you than the fact that I never set fire to a rival sibling, no matter how funny it would have been.

proof

I'm ignoring our re-hash Wednesday tradition and posting a new card today because, well, I have the power to do so and because I am the boss. Being a boss is like being a king except instead of bringing you courtesans they bring you tea. Today's card is about Mother's Day. I'm sorry I mentioned courtesans before. Sometimes I say things that are a little bit inappropriate. It's a bit of a secret.

Mother's Day

Baby Ecard with text: Let's get this out of the way now: I will not be interested in hearing about your child until it grows into something more interesting. Like an arsonist.

more interesting

...

Baby

Workplace Ecard with text: Im always right but no one ever listens but i don't care and basically they should all burn.

nobody ever listens

...

Workplace

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An illustration of a coffee-cup, and the text: 'buy me coffee'.

positive thinking

...

tags:arson

I believe strongly in the power of positive thinking as an effective strategy for societal change.I just think that arson also works and is both efficient and incontrovertible.
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