These cheer me up, though your mileage may vary.
A lot of men find it difficult to express themselves emotionally, but that's only because a lot of men these days don't drink a lot of whiskey. Men, it's easy to speak your mind; all you have to do is make sure nobody is home, lock the doors and whisper. I can't believe we have a reputation for being unable to communicate.
If you're new to Wrongcards you probably don't yet know that I like to invent excuses for people. I'm a creature of misadventure and when it comes to getting out of tricky situations, well, I know all about it. You may think we're an ecard site or a webcomic, but really we're a Self-Help book. Send our cards and win at life.
Whenever people get sad I usually try to make them feel better. I talk about the brief and anonymous life of the gastrotrich, a microscopic fresh-water creature that only lives for three days. People don't like to get sad around me.
Today's card is my way of helping people overcome depression. However, you should all understand that I can't do too good a job on Cheer Up Cards because pharmaceuticals companies will try to sue me for loss of income. So I hope you all have a *mostly* happy Tuesday.
Miss Piggy terrified Kermit and was physically abusive and I alone noticed! Six year old me was FREAKED that everyone forgave her. She's the Charlie Sheen of Muppet World. The only reason today's wrongcard exists is because I have always wanted her head on a stick. I have now formally addressed this topic. Moving on...
Do you ever feel sometimes that you have to go the extra-mile just to prove you are a good friend? Well, this card is that extra-mile... and a half.
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