Things might be getting Christmassy but people still seem to be having babies regardless. I don't have a problem with it because you can buy the child one present per year and say: 'this is for your birthday AND Christmas'. This also means more money to spend each year on expensive, imported gourmet puddings.
Babies happen, and when one happens near you, you'd best be prepared. I'm not saying that babies aren't great to be around for a few minutes but there ARE a lot of good PC games coming out in the next three months. What's today's card? Your ticket to freedom.
You know how it is when you get bored and want to mess with the minds of certain friends or family-members who are 'with child'? Well, I have a strategy for that - a little something I like to call, 'saying things that are true'.
Today's card is for those who talk frankly about their pregnancies. Or rather, today's card is not for those people. Remember: one of the dangers of Wrongcards is that when you send them to others you run the risk of making yourself understood. I hope this message finds you fine and well.
You can send today's card to new parents. Or rather - you shouldn't. New parents can be awfully prickly and humorless - after all, they've just crushed their dreams. But then again, maybe you should. I think the decision really boils down to whether or not you like their cooking. Once again, I'm here to help.
I can't help it - people I know keep having babies. It's been my experience that new parents get really nervy and upset if you say stuff like 'You know, toddlers are awesome when they're high!' Just in case you were going to say something like this.
People are always going and having babies and expecting us to give them gifts. But how can anything we give them top The Miracle of Life? Thats what I ask, but everyone says no, no you've got to give them a present anyway. So I send a small bottle of rum (for the baby) or an ecard like this one. Anything to avoid babysitting.
And today's card is for new parents. Bless their hearts, they get so nervy when you mention statistics, which is something you Should Never Do. Unless you're bored and there's nothing on television.