Skip to main content

Keyboard Shortcuts

  • Press 'Escape' to close menus
  • Use arrow keys to navigate menus
  • Press 'Enter' to select menu items
page 5

Celebration Ecards

Baby Ecard with text: Congratulations on your New Baby! You have just scored two decades of economic servitude preparing a young mind to live unaided in a troubled, neurotic world.

economic servitude

...

Baby

Birthday Ecard with text: I hope a kind of pretentious hand-drawn card will excuse me from feigning an enthusiasm I do not feel. Its not personal, its just not my birthday and it sucks.

hand-drawn card

...

Birthday

Congratulations Ecard with text: congratulations. i'm really happy for you and also curious to know how sexually generous this all makes you feel.

sexually generous

...

Congratulations

Birthday Ecard with text: HAPPY BIRTHDAY I foretell a strange year filled with eerie people. Sheep might appear mysteriously then disappear. A close friend may need to borrow money for fairly solid reasons.

augury

...

Birthday

Birthday Ecard with text: Happy Birthday. Celebrating another year of your successful avoidance of long-term incarceration.

celebrating avoidance

...

Birthday

Birthday Ecard with text: Thank you for understanding that my not remembering to get you a birthday present stems from a rejection of banality and an idiosyncratic tendency to focus on the Great Themes of Life rather than the tawdry or mundane.

tawdry and mundane

...

Birthday

Birthday Ecard with text: It's your birthday. Yay! Will this do?

will this do?

This month, Librans have their birthdays - or Libras or whatever. You know, every now and then I write to astronomy departments at major universities and ask them if they have any professorial positions open for Librans, because 'they would obviously know that Librans have a natural advantage when it comes to comprehending the movements of Celestial Bodies. No idea idea why I do this. I'm a Leo.

Birthday

Baby Ecard with text: congratulation on your infant. here is hoping it is not an evil devil baby with demonic powers like pyrokinesis.

evil devil baby

...

Baby

Birthday Ecard with text: I hope you enjoy your birthday because only God knows how many you have left or which birthday will be your last, and He just wants the whole thing to be an hilarious surprise.

god will have his jokes

...

Birthday

Congratulations Ecard with text: Congratulations but we both know that youre not really successful in life until Ronald McDonald puts out a restraining order against you. Until then, you are just dicking around.

ronald mcdonald

...

Congratulations