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Dark Humor Ecards
ray
I'm one of the unlucky few who didn't receive any religious instruction as a kid, so I can't speak with any conviction about who goes to hell and who doesn't. So I just assume that hell is filled with people pointing at each other and saying they are going to hell. If I've learned anything from refusing to believe anything people say it is probably this: that heaven is for the heterodox.
shouty man
The American election process lasts about three years out of every four and costs roughly four bazillion dollars. Last time there was an election the Nobel Prize committee was so terrified of one of the candidates they gave away a peace prize to the other guy just for beating him. I've looked at your candidates and if you want my advice I think you should all learn how to grow your own food.
voting
It's voting time in the US and there have been some requests for some election coverage here. The only problem is that, well, voting is a deeply divisive issue. Some are in favor of voting, others are against, and some are in favor of voting hundreds of times. I'd only do the latter if the bloke has particularly nice hair.
transubstantiation
I've never known much about religion. I guess I'm agnostic because I don't want to wind up having to look surprised. Sadly, having a foot in both camps just means everyone feels obligated to preach at you. Today's card is about the Eating of the Eucharist. It's my way of coping with being recently told that it's not a biscuit.
evidence
I never like to hear people arguing about religion because that means they're not sitting there listening attentively to me. Everyone has a different approach to religious debate. Mine is to scream: That Is Anathema! until everyone leaves. I guess it's important to win.
war
One day an old lady on a bus told me that my being drafted into a war would probably fix everything that she instantly didn't like about me. I realized right away that this is why young people no longer introduce themselves with the words 'at your disposal'.
hunting
For those among us who are religiously tolerant enough to get away with laughing at the religiously intolerant, here is today's wrongcard. For everyone else, well, I look forward to your letters.
charlie sheen
The media is blitzing us with reports of uprisings in Libya, Tunisia and Egypt, but have so far ignored the tribulations of actor Charlie Sheen. He's out of work and in six months will run out of cocaine. He doesn't need our pity, he needs drugs and hookers, so take on some extra shifts and donate generously. Thank you.
hand lotion
I'm really, really annoyed at the TSA right now. I've read so much about this stuff they're doing, looking at naked people on scanners and groping people. And not one single call back about my job application.
