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page 66

Home Ecards

Celebration Concerned Dark Humor Family Holiday Jewish Just Because Love
Apology Ecard with text: im sorry im big enough to admit when youre wrong

big enough to admit it

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Apology

Anniversaries Ecard with text: our anniversary is a triumph of my good fortune over your poor judgment. so really it's more about 'me' than 'us'. please remember that tonight

this is a triumph

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Anniversaries

Birthday Ecard with text: it's your birthday - you're lucky to have them so don't moan about it, or i'll stab you in the face with an umbrella or something

umbrellas and stabbings

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Birthday

Birthday Ecard with text: happy birthday! btw when i said i was getting you a pony, i kinda lied. instead, here is a picture of some very colorful balloons. yay! Yay! everyone loves balloons! now shhhhh! i want to watch my show.

everybody loves balloons

One time, I went down to Human Resources and asked if I could create a support group for co-workers who fall in love with balloon animals. They were against the idea, but I covered my ears and yelled for a while, and eventually they gave in. I'm very tenacious. So, I chaired the support group and a couple of people from the 4th floor showed up, I think out of curiosity, really. And what I did is tell them they were all very sick individuals who deserved to be fired. The human resources lady was not happy. I suspect she might secretly be dating a balloon animal.

Birthday

Get Well Ecard with text: get well. but if you don't, i'd find it very consoling if you left me you your wii.

if you don't get well

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Get Well

Apology Ecard with text: i'm sorry i found a dead bat on the street and nailed it to your door. but in my defense, you DID provoke me.

sorry about the dead bat

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Apology

Apology Ecard with text: im sorry i use the phrase knee deep in the blood of traitors and pigs a bit more often than would be considered socially acceptable

traitors and pigs

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Apology

Zombie Ecard with text: it might be lots of fun but all an uzi will do is piss the zombies off. remember a chainsaw is your best friend

lots of fun, but

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Zombie

Flirting Ecard with text: let's increase our mental health awareness by pretending we have Tourette's Syndrome. Whenever, say, we find ourselves having sex. together we can make this world a better place!

tourettes

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Flirting

Political Satire Ecard with text: Be careful! your capacity for critical thought might draw attention and suspicion. remember to wear a vague smile at all times. and don't forget - we all love the president.

vague smile

Political Satire

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